Penelope Cruz And Javier Bardem Are Married

ALTWe’ve been duped! Again! It seems Penélope Cruz and Javier Bardem were married something like two weeks ago at a friend’s house in the Bahamas. The ceremony was only attended by close family members, which means it couldn’t have been any fun because we weren’t there. At least that’s what we’ll say.

Penelope wore a gown by designer/friend, John Galliano, and presumably, Bardem wore a suit made of disgruntled women from around the world.

The two of them are notoriously private and keep their relationships and their hands to themselves, which makes it understandable that we’re only hearing about this two weeks later. But with the Twitter and the Facebook and the Google. why are we still experiencing such a time delay with these weddings? We have no trouble finding out the things we don’t care about, like how Lindsay Lohan is prepping to make jailhouse meatloaf for 23 days…but the things we’re desperate for (like weddings, most obviously) are harder to keep track of than it is to diagnose yourself on And THAT’S INSANELY HARD.

In any case, they’re married now. As is Megan Fox, Jenna Fischer, John Krasinski, Emily Blunt, Martin Lawrence, Chelsea Clinton, Carrie Underwood, and for all we know, Katy Perry. But I have a feeling if it hasn’t already happened, we won’t be hearing about her wedding two weeks after the fact because Neil Armstrong-types will mistake her dress for an entire parade.

Source: Us Magazine