Each week, Hollywood gives us something to whine about, and the week of Feb. 18 was no different. We could make a drinking game out of this week, but that would be too dangerous. Instead, we’ll stick to the usual formula: varying levels of alcoholic respite depending on how bothersome the week’s issues are. Is your biggest complaint this week a flimsy one? How about a light cocktail to take the edge off? Got a real bone to pick with a celeb or entertainment entity this week? Go ahead, grab a drink that’ll put hair on your chest. Here are the week’s entertainment stories that are forcing us to seek a bubbly or boozy refuge. And maybe an idea or two about how you should wash them down.
Settle Down With a Tall, Frosty Beer
-Seth MacFarlane, Don’t Be a Family Guy Character at the Oscars, Please: Because if you do, you’re going to be hearing lots of crickets and seeing lots of grumpy cat impressions in the audience.
–Poor NBC Just Can’t Catch a Break: Some of us still hold out hope, but it appears we’ll never again see the era of Must See TV return to us.
-We’re Feeling Pretty Guilty About How Much We Want to Watch the Rihanna/Chris Brown Law and Order Episode: But that hasn’t stopped us from setting our DVRs.
-Destiny’s Child Reality Show? Yay! About Michelle Williams… Only. Damnit.: Seriously, who thought this was a good idea?
-Fox May Be Hurting New Girl: Moving the lovely little sitcom could spell disaster for the already shrinking ratings.
That’s It. Guzzle a Whiskey and Coke, Hold the Coke.
–Lena Dunham Now Has to Apologize for Things She Didn’t Do: This is some bulls**t.
-Meanwhile, Julia Louis-Dreyfus is Doing Things She Most Definitely Should Apoligize For: Like this body-shaming commericial she made in Isreal.
-LeAnn Rimes Gets to Make Totally Amoral Decisions And Receive Zero Negative Consequences: How is this living situation fair?
-Shia LeBeouf Can’t Even Apologize Without Plagiarizing: Yet his clothes are probably more expensive than my laptop.
-Michael Bay Picked a Bombshell to Play Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ Feminist Hero: We’ll give it a shot, but it’s making us a little worried.
–What the Hell, American Idol?: The men this year are so awful, I’m still angry three days later. But hey, at least the show is back to inspiring some sort of emotion, right?
–Pretty Guys Can’t Win Oscars: At least that’s what history has taught us. We’ll just have to love Ryan Gosling that much more to make up for it.
-Apparently, Obsessing Over Oscar Pistorious’ Alleged Crimes Aren’t Enough: We need to see it in documentary form too.
-Some Boneheads in England Thought It’d Be Fun to Tell Us Who They Don’t Want to Bone: Thus ensuring their spot on womankind’s similar list of jerks who’ll never get laid.
Follow Kelsea on Twitter @KelseaStahler
[Photo Credit: Jamie Cary/MTV]