The annual White House Correspondents Dinner — now more appropriately dubbed the Oscars of politics — was held in the nation’s capital on Saturday. It’s here where Hollywood mixes with politics and lobbyists, the same people host Jimmy Kimmel calls “everything that is wrong with America.” But it wasn’t just Kimmel (the chaperone of the night as President Obama called him) who was cracking jokes. The Leader of the Free World took on political opponent Mitt Romney (labeling him a snob for having not one Harvard degree like him, but two) and even reality-TV star Kim Kardashian who was in the audience with her date for the night, her mom. While this year’s roasting took some potentially sensitive subjects head on, like the Secret Service scandal in Colombia, the evening was kept in good fun and self-deprecating laughter.
Here are the night’s 10 best jokes…
10. KIMMEL: There are a lot of very big celebrities here with us tonight. Uggie is here. Uggie is the dog from the movie The Artist. Uggie is amazing. He can roll over on command. He’s a Democrat.
9. KIMMEL: They say diplomacy is a matter of carrots and sticks, and since Mrs. Obama got to the White House, so is dinner.
8. KIMMEL: Mr. President, I know you won’t be able to laugh at any of my jokes about the Secret Service, so cover your ears — if that’s physically possible.
7. KIMMEL: They told me this would be a very high profile event with some of the most powerful people in the world. They did not tell me I would be looking directly into Sofia Vergara‘s cleavage. Sophia is from Colombia, this is what women look like in Colombia. What do you expect the Secret Service to do?
6. OBAMA: I guess Governor Romney is feeling pretty good about things because he took a few hours off the other day to see The Hunger Games. It’s a movie about people who court wealthy sponsors and then brutally savage each other until only one contestant is left standing. I’m sure this was a really great change of pace for him.
5. OBAMA: Seriously, what am I doing here? I’m the President of the United States, and I’m opening for Jimmy Kimmel? … Why am I telling knock-knock jokes to Kim Kardashian? What is she famous for, anyway?
4. KIMMEL: If you don’t win the raffle, remember, you can still win dinner with George [Clooney] himself — if you are a 6’1 blonde with a perfect body.
3. OBAMA: Four years ago I looked like this [picture of Obama smiling]. Today I look like this [picture of Obama frowning]. And four years from now, I will look like this [picture of Morgan Freeman]. That’s not even funny!
2. KIMMEL: [American Airlines pilot who safely landed in the Hudson River after a flock of geese hit the plane] Sully Sullenberger. Where is Sully Sullenberger? I met him outside. Sully, would you do us a favor? Would you mind driving Lindsay Lohan home? And make sure you don’t run into a goose, especially a Grey Goose.
1. KIMMEL: As we know now last year at this dinner Obama had his team on the way to kill Osama bin Laden. So who will it be this year? If you are looking for the biggest threat to America right now, she is right there. Her name is Kim Kardashian. She was captured by Greta van Susteren and brought right to your doorstep. You know when you took office the Kardashian’s had one reality show, now they have four. This is not a good trend.
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Photo Credit: Wenn.com
