Despite her obvious lack of vocal prowess and complete absence of charisma, Paris Hilton‘s first stab at becoming a pop star wasn’t the total car crash everyone expected. Indeed, in the hands of somebody less obnoxious, the breezy reggae of “Stars Are Blind” and pulsing electro-pop of “Nothing In This World” would probably have been much bigger hits. However, her recently unveiled comeback single, “Good Time,” a Lil Wayne-assisted slice of trash-pop even more vacuous than her reality TV persona, suggests that her 2006 effort may have been a fluke. But despite its sheer awfulness, it’s not the worst track to emerge from an E! channel regular. Here’s a look at five other pop disasters released by ‘stars’ who should have stuck to being famous for doing nothing.
Kim Kardashian – “Jam (Turn It Up)”
The most high-profile Kardashian shares next to nothing in common musically with Kanye West judging by this braindead attempt to jump aboard the EDM-pop bandwagon in 2011. Following its dismal reception, she hasn’t stepped foot inside the studio again.
Heidi Montag – “Higher”
It’s not clear what’s worse here. The Hills‘ star’s wafer thin tones, the cheesy synth-pop production which sounds like it’s escaped from an ’80s exercise VHS or the tragically low-budget beach-themed video directed by her super-creepy other half Spencer Pratt.
Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino – “The Situation”
Drenching his vocals in so much AutoTune that he makes T-Pain sound organic, the virtually unrecognisable Jersey Shore regular added rapper to his list of non-talents with this terribly misguided venture into hip-hop.
Tila Tequila – “Stripper Friends”
Showcasing the same sense of elegance and class that made A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila such a tasteful watch, the ‘jack of all trades but master of none’ once again bypassed any notion of subtlety with this typically tacky cover of Aimee Allen’s stripper anthem.
Ali Lohan – “All The Way Around”
Despite the overwhelming apathy towards her 2006 Christmas album, Living Lohan star Ali continued to persevere with her pop career. But this limp and hopelessly generic attempt at synth R&B was never going to help her step outside the shadow of her jailbird sister.