Ronnie from ‘Jersey Shore’ Releases One Seriously Awful Dance Single

ALTRonnie Ortiz-Magro, the gorilla knuckled costar of Jersey Shore, has released a dance single and TMZ got a clip of it. It is not a shock to say that it is awful. It sounds less like it was sung by a human being and more like it was sung by a choir of rusty robots from the future. The lyrics are something about him being too messed up to drive? I don’t know. My ears can’t process the strange tones in this recording.

Ronnie joins the ranks of fellow reality stars like Kim Kardashian, Tyra Banks, and Every Real Housewife of Any Town USA to release a really crappy track that no one is ever going to care about.

To all of you TV types thinking about dropping a track sometime in near future, here is a bit of advice: Don’t.

Listen to Ronnie’s track below and tell us what you think about it.


Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan


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After getting his master's degree in poetry, Senior Writer Brian Moylan started writing about television and pop culture for Gawker, The Guardian, The Washington Blade and a few other reputable publications. Brian has an honorary PhD in “Jersey Shore” studies from the University of Chicago. He's shared his often hilarious views about the tube on VH1, MSNBC, TV Guide Channel, MTV (Canada), BBC radio, and NPR. He can usually be found at his apartment in New York yelling at the TV and dodging calls from Real Housewives. He is a Taurus and likes long walks on the beach, fried chicken, and almost every reality television program ever created (especially “The Swan”).