Snooki took some time out of her busy snookin’-a-book-together schedule to appear on the Jersey Shore episode of South Park (see below) last night, where she crawled around with her pickles and her purses and her sneaker slippers and her visible thong and her hoop earrings and binged on the contents of people’s meat lockers and broke cigarette machines in half and turned Kyle into Kyley-B by humping him. The White House security guards who spun the job wheel this morning and were assigned to walk Bo Obama will have a blast talking about it while they wait for Bo to wreck the Rose Garden.
So let’s hear it for Snooki, who’s gassing up her “I love Snooki” chambers and ushering us into them by appearing on the other shows we like and writing books that make us kick the new Dave Eggers one further down our reading lists! She really is turning into a global empire. She’s even becoming the tootsie roll center of Halloween’s tootsie pop, now that several won our hearts without a little adhesive.
Now let’s recap. Snooki is available for babysitting, disco parties, roller derbies, movie cameos, and photoshopping bananas into your wedding photos. She’s also not afraid of tree frog hunting, licking icicles, and doing the voice-over for your movie trailer. The more you wish for her to go away, the more likely you’ll walk into your doctor’s office one day for a routine cleaning and you’ll only have magazines devoted to the life and times of the Snook to read while you wait to be seen. Nope, not even a Parenting will be in sight. So just accept her and her Corona margaritas.