Strippers, Snakeskin, and Side Boob: Miley Cyrus’ Merry XXX-mas — PICS

Miley CyrusAt 20 years old, Miley Cyrus now has two full years of adulthood under her belt. And, from the looks of things, she’s psyched about it. On Saturday, Cyrus performed at her friend and collaborator DJ Borgore’s Christmas Creampies concert at the Henry Ford Theater in Hollywood, Calif. sporting a shorter ‘do, belly chain, and knee high python boots. This outfit was a wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen. But Cyrus, who shared the stage with a near-naked pole dancer, looked positively modest in comparison.

Strippers and side boob and snakeskin, oh my! After much pondering and chin stroking, we’ve decided that there is only one logical explanation for the aesthetics of this performance: Soon-to-be-married lady Cyrus was practicing for her bachelorette party.

We present to you, Miley’s Steps to the Perfect Hen Party:

1. Find the perfect outfit. You know, something that just screams “I’m about to settle down!”

Miley Cyrus

2. Enlist the help of some adult performers; they know all the best moves. 

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3. Grind up on some dude who’s not your fiancé. It’s your last chance!

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Hey y’all, she’s just being Miley!

Follow Abbey Stone on Twitter @abbeystone

[Photo Credit: Chelsea Lauren/WireImage (3)]

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Celebrity Editor Abbey Stone hails from the fair isle of Martha's Vineyard, a lovely, vaguely dinosaur-shaped spot of land located off the coast of Cape Cod, MA, that is best known for exporting preppy salmon-colored pants. But the bright lights of New York City beckoned, and Abbey was lured away from her coastal haven to attend Barnard College. She graduated in 2010 with a degree in English and a much less useful minor in Dance. Abbey has been published in Dance Magazine, The Huffington Post, Time Out New York, and Popstar! magazine (where she learned more than she ever wanted to know about Justin Bieber). Abbey now lives in Brooklyn, where she spends her days watching stupid Internet videos and reading pretentious books.

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