The bisexual star of VH1 show Shot at Love reveals she’s seeking help for her suicidal tendencies, and admits she went too far with a post on Monday (05Oct09).
Tequila alarmed her Twitter followers by writing, “I am going to kill myself cuz I don’t want to life (sic) in a world where its filled with IGNORANCE! which majority of you ARE! & racists! As dark descends into my world… I drown at night, without a fight. One last breath before I go. Don’t mourn me world, I will die slow.”
The post has since been protected on Twitter.com and can no longer be viewed.
And, in a follow-up – posted on GlobalGrind.com on Wednesday (07Octo09), Tequila addresses what she calls “my recent public suicidal meltdown online.”
She writes, “I don’t usually issue statements to address rumors, but since suicide is a very serious subject, I felt that it is my responsibility to come clean and speak out about it, as emotional and personal as it is.
“I am a bit embarrassed and ashamed that the whole world witnessed my very public meltdown about being suicidal, but, at the same time, I know that I shouldn’t be. Had I not spoken out for help, my loved ones would not have seen my cry for help, and I probably wouldn’t be alive today.
“Had I not done what I did that night, I most definitely would have made the biggest mistake of my life, that I can never undo.”
Tequila, 27, claims her depression began last month (Sep09), when she was hospitalised after an alleged altercation with then-boyfriend Shawne Merriman. Charges weren’t filed against the American footballer, due to insufficient evidence.
Tequila writes, “I was involved in a highly publicized case of domestic violence, and I have never really spoken out about it… It has been a very difficult situation for me. Not being able to speak to people about it in public, and having to pretend to move on (with life) as though nothing ever happened, has taken a heavy toll on me, physically, as well as mentally.”
Concluding her latest post on a positive note, she adds, “We have only one life to live, so why not give it a try? It takes a stronger person to fight through the hard times than take the easy way out!!!! DON’T DO IT!!!!!!!!! God Bless!”