The Daily Shuffle: Katie Holmes Explains Suri’s Penis Gummies

katie holmes and tom cruiseKatie Holmes will appear on Ellen today, and she’s going to clear up the whole “Suri Cruise LOVES chewing on penises!” controversy. Apparently, Holmes took Suri to an ice cream shop and while they were waiting to be seated, Suri grabbed some penis gummies. And even though it was reported that Holmes gave them to Suri to chew on, that’s not true — Suri took them herself. Why didn’t she just tell her to put them back, you ask? Holmes explained, “because I thought if I said ‘Put that back,’ and then she’s going to say, ‘What is this?’ And I really didn’t want to have that conversation.” OHHHH excellent! More shame over anatomy!! – US

Prince William will not be wearing a wedding band once he marries Kate Middleton. A spokeswoman for the palace told People that, “there is only going to be one ring, in accordance with the couple’s wishes. Kate’s band will be constructed from a tiny amount of gold from the Welsh mountains that belonged to Queen Elizabeth. – People

A dwarf couple in New Jersey is suing Joel McHale, Comcast, and E! for defamation and emotional distress. The sketch aired on E!’s The Soup in 2009, and the show used a photo of the couple and added babies covered in tattoos and wearing pageant sashes into the picture and used it to describe a fictitious reality show called, “Fertile Little Tattooed Pageant Parents Who Enjoy Baking.” – Hollywood Reporter