Sean Parker, he of a-billion-dollars-cool and Napster fame, launched a new service today called Airtime. To put it simply, Airtime is basically a more legitimatized version of Chatroulette that’s linked to your Facebook account. The launch was attended by a variety of celebrities–including Jim Carrey, Ed Helms, Olivia Munn, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, and Joel McHale–touting the new service’s ability to connect others based on their Facebook likes, interests, common friends or locations: you know, like the real world used to do before we all got scared and ran inside forever and ever. That time before we lived for retweets or likes; when we actually interacted with people rather than sitting next to each other glued to our cell phones and called it “socialization.” A time long, long, long ago in the history of our world. I think it was just before Columbus sailed to America (and if only he had Facebook, he would’ve noticed that he totally checked into the wrong location with his three ships! LOL LOL LOL).
In anticipation of this being the Next Big Internet Thing–given its instantaneous popularity with some impressively-famous folks–we’ve done a series of scientific laboratory tests to determine who the next famous people we’ll see pop up on Airtime.
Common Interests: 90s on Nick, driving, tweeting
Friends in Common: Barack Obama
What She’s Doing on Airtime: Trying to get Barack Obama to fire cops who arrest her, finding a designated driver, seeking relevancy after retirement.
Common Interests: Being heroic, dogs.
Friends in Common: Everyone in America, ever.
What He’s Doing on Airtime: He just stopped by to say hey, girl.
Common Interests: The Internet!, Old school MTV, social media.
Friends in Common: All of Twitter, Bruce Willis, Steve Jobs.
What He’s Doing on Airtime: He’s a total social media geek and early adopter of all emerging media. It would be weird if he wasn’t on it.
Common Interests: Fashion, monsters, nail art, hair dye.
Friends in Common: Every homosexual male you went to college with; most of the straight girls, too.
What She’s Doing on Airtime: Performing one-off concerts for every little monster she encounters.
Common Interests: Flying, the movie Face-Off
Friends in Common: Douglas Fahlweather, your high school friend who became a massage therapist. …wait a second.
What He’s Doing on Airtime: Definitely not looking for male massage therapists. Allegedly!
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[Images via Mashable, Getty, ShutterShock, Getty, Twitter, and WireImage respectively.]