The Horror Olympics: Which Possessed Girl Gets Gold? (2012/07/30)- Tickets to Movies in Theaters, Broadway Shows, London Theatre & More

Poor Jordyn Wieber. There was perhaps no sadder moment surrounding the 2012 London Olympics than watching Ryan Seacrest ask the gymnastics team about Justin Bieber the World Champion sobbing after getting knocked out of the All-Around Finals — just feet away from qualifying teammate Aly Raisman‘s televised victory interview.

But Wieber should perk up as high as her ponytail — not only will she get a chance to Kerri Strug her way into winning her team Gold (hopefully sans ankle injury), but she could also boast a lucrative career in Hollywood. Doing what, you ask? Why, if horror movies have taught us anything, it’s that there’s a market for flexible possessed women.

Ever Linda Blair crab-walked her way down a set of stairs in a scene that was added for The Exorcist‘s 2000 theatrical re-release, the industry has realized nothing there’s nothing more horrifying more than watching a girl bend her body in ways not seemingly possible. (You saw Raisman’s parents watching her uneven bar routine last night, didn’t you?) So how would scary movies’ most notable bendy ladies fare in the Olympics? Let’s see who would make the team — and who possessed us enough to pick up the Gold.

Finalist: Psychiatric Ward Crawler, The Exorcist III (1990)

ALT

Name: Unknown

Best Event: Defying Gravity

Hobbies: Singing the full track to Wicked

Strength: Helping you remember the existence of The Exorcist III

Weakness: Appearing in The Exorcist III

Final Score: 55.32. Talk about a one-trick pony.

Finalist: Emily Rose (Jennifer Carpenter), The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005)

ALT

Name: Emily Rose

Best Event: Rings

Hobbies: Excessive work-out sessions, crying over Lundy. Oh wait, that’s Deb Morgan.

Strength: Season 4

Weakness: Season 5

Final Score: 60.03. Julia Stiles’ terribleness really throws you off your game.

Bronze Medal: Nell Sweetzer (Ashley Bell), The Last Exorcism (2010)

- Advertisement -

ALT

Name: Nell Sweetzer

Best Event: Floor Exercise

Hobbies: Laundry.

Strength: Scaring the hell out of everyone but herself.

Weakness: Hygiene.

Final Score: 61.78. Could a scrunchie-less gymnast perform any higher?

Silver Medal: Regan MacNeil (Linda Blair), The Exorcist (1973)

ALT

Name: Regan MacNeil

Best Event: Uneven Bars

Hobbies: Board games.

Strength: Avoiding Home Alone-style paint cans.

Weakness: A warm bowl of pea soup.

Final Score: 62.5. Like Wieber, a heavy favorite who still failed to turn her head and notice the competition.

Gold Medal: Rosalita (Bonnie Morgan), The Devil Inside (2012)

ALT

Name: Rosalita

Best Event: Unbalanced Beam

Hobbies: Yoga. Duh.

Strength: Making Brendan Fraser-clap hands.

Weakness: Fashion sense. Capris? What is this, 2000?

Final Score: 63.00. Really, anyone else taking the title would be a stretch. (Har.)

Of course, these rankings are based on a biased judge who enjoys footage that can keep her up at night. So now, it’s your turn: Which possessed lady would get your gold medal?

&amp;amp;amp;lt;a href=”http://polldaddy.com/poll/6428037/”&amp;amp;amp;gt;Which possessed girl would you give the gold?&amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;gt;

Follow Kate on Twitter @HWKateWard

- Advertisement -

More:

Olympics Round-Up: World Record for Dana Vollmer, Hugs for Michelle Obama

Olympic Round-Up: Lochte Beats Phelps, Archers Take Aim at Silver

7 Queen of England Memes (From the Olympics Opening Ceremony)

- Advertisement -