2016 gave us some of our favorite songs, but in the true nature of 2016 –the year we lost some of our most beloved celebrities and Donald Trump was elected into office — why bother showcasing them? Instead, let’s focus on the most terrible things 2016 has to offer. These 17 terrible songs are really just the pretty decorations on 2016’s poop-iced cake.
Okay, so these songs aren’t bad per say — it’s the lyrics that are real stinkers. We admit, we’ve been caught bopping our heads, singing “work, work, work, work, work” in rush hour traffic, but when it really comes down to it, we can’t help but wonder: who allowed these lyrics to even happen?
Below are some of the worst lyrics of 2016. Some of them are so bad, it’s actually inspiring. Think about it: Ariana Grande (as much as we love her) made millions off of the phrase “dick bicycle.” It’s true innovation. To exemplify the deep, emotional meaning behind some of this modern poetry, we’ve put our list into oh-so-trendy Tumblr and Instagram-ready inspirational quotes. They’re perfectly shareable and ready to inspire!
Check it out the 17 worst lyrics of 2016 below.
1. Desiigner – Panda
It doesn’t make sense even in context. Pandas sure are cute though.
2. Kanye West – Father Stretch My Hands Pt 1
There are no actual words to describe our feelings about this deep, thought provoking piece of literature. We need more time to process.
3. Meghan Trainer – Me Too
Do you think her life’s more Tropic Thunder, Eyes Wide Shut or The Mummy?
4. Meghan Trainer – No
Hello, No. Nice to meet you (or rather, not really that nice at all). “Nah” to the “Ah” to the please stop talking already.
5. Yo Gotti – Down In The DM
We’re not totally sure that Gotti knows BM doesn’t stand for BMW no matter how much he tries to make it happen.
6. Lukas Graham – Seven Years
While this song’s lyrics are so overwhelming craptastic that it’s hard to choose just one, we’re torn between the idea that an 11-year-old’s father told his tween-aged son to hurry up and get a wife or the fact that Lukas Graham “made a man so happy when [he] wrote a letter once.” What was the letter, dude? Probably not an invoice, if we’re guessing.
7. Ariana Grande (Featuring Nicki Minaj) – Side To Side
While we are afraid to think too hard about what a wrist icicle is, when it comes down to it, we’re not really sure what any of this means. It turns out we’re not alone. Ariana Granda told Ellen DeGeneres “I don’t know, actually,” when asked to describe a dick bicycle. Nicki Minaj, could you clear this up?
8. Blink-182 – Bored To Death
We’re massive fans of Blink-182 and praise pretty much everything the band has written in the last 20 years including the completely over-the-top, 16-second song “Built This Pool” (you know: “I wanna see some naked dudes, that’s why I built this pool.” It’s seriously brilliant and underrated, if only for its silliness). Still, when we heard the catchy-as-hell chorus of “Bored To Death” we were a bit disappointed to find out that “life is too short to last long.” Here we thought it was too long to last long. Wait that’s not right.
9. The 1975 – Change Of Heart
Nothing could make us love The 1975 more than we already do. While “Change Of Heart” is filled with fabulous self-aware lyrics, we can’t help but feel a bit sorry for the Instagrammer who our precious Matty has just dumped. These lyrics annoy us as much as his date probably would in real life, if we’re being honest — and bro, if she’s telling you that you have something, you should probably get it checked out. Just a suggestion!
10. Jon Bellion – All Time Low
Thanks for the TMI, Jon. Much appreciated.
11. Rihanna – Work
At least we can dance to this one, but Rihanna, it sounds like you need to wash up.
12. Fergie – M.I.L.F $
Sorry. We’re lactose intolerant.
13. DNCE – Cake By The Ocean
Okay, so it’s a poorly translated thought from the mouth of Swedish producer who spoke English as his second language, but Joe Jonas should know better.
14. Red Hot Chili Peppers – Go Robot
We’re torn between this and “Sometimes I feel like I’m a sentimental trooper/She cried so hard, you know she looked like Alice Cooper.” We’re just so confused.
15. Maroon 5 – I Don’t Wanna Know
Boo-d up is now permanently in our vernacular and we really resent Adam Levine for that.
16. Bruno Mars – 24K Magic
Please, no. Put the rocket back to sleep.
17. D.R.A.M – Broccoli
Between this and the line about Columbine, it’s just all #smh.