Unhappy Hour: 10 Ways Pop Culture Gave Us Reason to Drink on July 7

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White Wine Sangria

July 4, Also Known As America’s Barbecue and Travel Holiday, Fell On The Most Inconvenient Day Possible

Seriously, 2012 Calendar? Seriously? How could you play us like that?

Savages Severely Messed With The Original Book’s Ending
Fans of the original book will be miffed, but the rest of us will just use it as an excuse to complain about something. Guilty
Adam Levine Cannot Rock a Mountain Man Beard, Not Without Trying
He really does try, but take note, men of the world: Some people’s faces just aren’t destined to be bearded. 
We Can’t Even Handle This Adorable Picture of Chris Hemsworth and His Daughter
It might be the best picture ever taken. 
Spiked Lemonade
Weeds Brought Back “Little Boxes” Theme Song, But The Season Premiere Can’t Match The Song’s Greatness
They even knocked Nancy out for the entire episode and gave Andy all the screen time and we just couldn’t regain that good feeling.

Brad Pitt’s Mom Ranted Against Gay Rights In Direct Opposition to Her Son’s Beliefs

This is reality, folks. Sometimes celebs are more progressive and accepting than their parents. We just have to deal with it.
We Now Have Mugshot to Fully Complete Our Disappointment in Formerly Beloved Lost Star Matthew Fox
Jack, you are really ruining our reality here. First, we get the most disappointing finale in TV history (okay, one of the most disappointing finales) and then, Fox goes all Alternate Time Line Jack and makes us question how we spent SIX YEARS of our lives.
It seemed impossible, what with South Park’s surprisingly serious exploration of the religion back in 2005 and various investigative news reports about its practices, we thought Scientology could never recover. But then Rupert Murdoch spoke out against it in the wake of a rash of News Corp. scandals. Which side do we choose?!
Leftover Red, White, and Blue Jello Shots
Here’s a tip, dude: How about you don’t watch porn?
We Really Miss Andy Griffith
We really, really do.
Follow Kelsea on Twitter @KelseaStahler.

Celebrity Editor Kelsea Stahler was born in a pile of dirt. Okay, she was actually born in an old Naval hospital in San Diego, which then became a pile of dirt and remained as such for a number of years before becoming a parking lot perfectly sized for circus tents, and finally a museum. She eventually left San Diego to attend New York University, where she studied Journalism and English literature — two less-than profitable liberal arts degrees about which guidance counselors warned her. Against all odds, she now resides in Brooklyn, where she fights the constant fear that the locals will soon discover she isn’t quite cool enough to live there, and makes a living writing absurd, pop culture features about Batman, zombies, vampires, funny people, and Ron Swanson.

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