Unhappy Hour: Amy Poehler & Will Arnett Broke Our Hearts and 7 Other Reasons to Drink

Will Arnett and Amy Poehler in Blades of GloryEach week, Hollywood gives us something to whine about, and the week of Sept. 8 was no different. We could make a drinking game out of this week, but that would be too dangerous. Instead, we’ll stick to the usual formula: varying levels of alcoholic respite depending on how bothersome the week’s issues are. Is your biggest complaint this week a flismy one? How about a light cocktail to take the edge off? Got a real bone to pick with a celeb or entertainment entity this week? Go ahead, grab a drink that’ll put hair on your chest. Here are the week’s entertainment stories that are forcing us to seek a bubbly or boozy refuge. And maybe an idea or two about how you should wash them down.

Take the Edge Off With a Pumpkin Ale

We need more Fifty Shades of Grey casting rumors like we need all the dialog in Fifty Shades of Grey.

Ryan Gosling? Really, rumor mongers? Are you high?

Amanda, please.

Seriously, Amanda Bynes. Why. Why are making us so sad? In all seriousness, let’s hope this girl gets it together, finally.

Snooki put her six-day-old baby in front of a camera crew for a magazine cover.

I don’t know what’s worse, that she did it, or that we weren’t at all surprised.

Get a Little Loose With an Old Fashioned

There is such a thing as a teaser for a teaser trailer, and it’s all Twilight’s fault.

Okay, it’s also MTV’s fault. They played this teaser-teaser before the real teaser debuted during the VMAs on Thursday night. And everyone ate it up.

Joe Biden literally doesn’t know what “literally” means, if his DNC speech is any indication.

To quote the great Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

We can’t even pretend to hide how anxious we are for the return of Vampire Diaries, no thanks to this awesome new trailer.

It’s actually really dark, okay? (Which is basically the equivalent of saying Hooters has really good hot wings, I know.)

Let’s Forget This Ever Happened With Whiskey, Neat

There is no hope for any of us.

Will Arnett and Amy Poehler are separating after nine years of marriage. It literally (Joe Biden’s “literally”) took me an hour to muster up the courage to write that sentence.

I’m sorry. Maybe you misheard me. True love died this week.

Yep. You missed it. And now it’s gone.

Follow Kelsea on Twitter @KelseaStahler

[Photo Credit: Dreamworks]

More Unhappy Hour:

August 31

August 24

August 11