Each week, Hollywood gives us something to whine about, and the week of Jan. 7 was no different. We could make a drinking game out of this week, but that would be too dangerous. Instead, we’ll stick to the usual formula: varying levels of alcoholic respite depending on how bothersome the week’s issues are. Is your biggest complaint this week a flimsy one? How about a light cocktail to take the edge off? Got a real bone to pick with a celeb or entertainment entity this week? Go ahead, grab a drink that’ll put hair on your chest. Here are the week’s entertainment stories that are forcing us to seek a bubbly or boozy refuge. And maybe an idea or two about how you should wash them down.
Take the Edge Off With a Hot Toddy
Lindsey Lohan is Still Being Lindsay Lohan
The difference is that this time, there’s a record of all her movie set misdeeds in the New York Times Magazine.
Jesus Fresco: Part Deux?
Not quite, but Kate Middleton’s reaction to her first ever Duchess portrait speaks volumes.
We Should Probably Apologize for Losing Our Minds Over Two Very Important Music News Stories.
Nevermind. New Justin Timberlake and a Destiny’s Child reunion, y’all!
Make it a Double
Tracy Morgan Is Making Us Cry Our Own Tears.
He’s going to miss 30 Rock so much, he’s going to take it behind the bleachers and get it pregnant singing the cast a lovely farewell song.
Britney Spears is Really Leaving The X Factor
Which means no more of this awesomeness:
The Monopoly Thimble is in Great Peril!
If you don’t vote for it on Facebook. THIS is American Id…er, pick-the-best-piece-from-a-game-you-always-quit-before-you-finish-playing-because-it-takes-way-too-f**king-long.
Taylor Swift Has Another New Boyfriend!
Okay, so it’s actually Sad Keanu and it’s only happening in our dreams. Psych! It’s also happening right here.
We Now Have to Contemplate What the Phrase “That M.I.A. Album Is Too Positive” Means
That’s got to reflect poorly on society, right?
Nevermind, Just Give Me Some Whiskey
Really, Academy of Motion Picture Sciences? Really?
They have to have lost Kathryn Bigelow’s votes. How else they can explain snubbing this incredibly talented director? Even the Director’s Guild gave her a nomination.
This Happened. And We’re Still Laughing About It.
Al Roker pooped his pants and told the world, even though he could have lived an entire lifetime without ever telling a soul. And now none of will ever forget, no matter how hard we try.
Follow Kelsea on Twitter @KelseaStahler
[Photo Credit: Jonathan Olley/Columbia Pictures]
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