Try what she might, Rebecca Black just can’t shake the meme-tastic reputation her “Friday” music video earned her. She’s already attempted to separate herself from her infamous viral Internet sensation by releasing some sugary sweet singles, and now she’s taking another stab at reinventing her image with a cover of Miley Cyrus’ “We Can’t Stop.” However, she’s far from establishing herself as a “serious singer,” to say the least. Because, let’s be real, every Friday we can still hear Black squealing about what day of the week it is in the back of our minds.
Although it won’t be as much fun fun fun fun (Dear God, make it stop), we wish the aspiring artist the best fortune while attempting to break into the music biz for real. However, we must warn you, Rebecca, this quest is far more strenuous than choosing which seat in the car to take.
Behold! The three steps Rebecca Black must complete to go from being infamous to famous.
STEP 1: Take a Popular Hit Song, Make It Acoustic
Black just released a cover of Miley Cyrus’ badass, party-girl anthem “We Can’t Stop.” Black sounds a hell of a lot better than she did in “Friday,” but it’s an awkward tune to strip-down. The wannabee star changed up some of lyrics to Miley’s jam to make it more PG, but in doing so (and in losing it’s driving beat) the song loses much of its appeal. Although you’re already at Step 1, you may need to re-do this one, Rebecca. And maybe next time recruit a more known singer to team up with, because, umm, no one knows who Jon D is. Sorry.
STEP 2: Cover a Classic Track
Next up, we suggest Black pick a classic tune to remake. Perhaps The Beatles’ “Blackbird”? But, then again… we fear Black might butcher that one, so maybe she stay away from anything Beatles related. Therefore, we propose the 16-year-old take a stab at “Don’t’ Stop Believing.” That one’s been tried enough times that we aren’t afraid to let Black’s vocals screech it.
STEP 3: Release An Original Song (That You Wrote)
This third step will be the biggest conquest for Rebecca to prove herself worthy — outside the realm of chuckle-worthy GIFs from “Friday,” that is. Rebecca, we will only accept you into our iTunes once you release an original song. No co-writers please, all on your own. And if you can circumvent writing about sappy-romance tales (sorry, Taylor Swift), all the better.
We do admit, we’ll miss watching Black embarrass herself awkwardly dancing as she sings about eating her cereal and sitting at the bus stop. We wish her the best of luck as she struggles to put her “Friday” shame far, far into the past. Because, well, she needs all the luck she can get.