Matthew McConaughey could have had a long, prosperous career as a YouTube star, if only anyone watched his YouTube videos. The Lincoln spokesman, avid bongo player and movie star had (as of this morning) a mere 243 subscribers on YouTube.
We know what you’re thinking, that’s not bad for someone who just created their account. Well, for one, it actually is pretty bad, especially if you have 12.8 million Twitter followers. Secondly, McConaughey launched his channel in 2013 — a whole three years ago. He even went through the trouble of getting it verified. Those 243 people need to know that these are the authentic musings of the brain that starred in How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days.
The account is, for lack of better words, so Matthew McConaughey. He even refers to himself in the third person as McConaughey and rather than saying goodbye, signs off with a nonchalant “just keep living.” Good Lord, is that exactly what Matthew McConaughey would say or what? We can’t knock him too hard, though, because most of his videos are for a good cause. Four of his videos are promoting I Am Waters, a charity that, according to Facebook, will deliver 340,000 water bottles to homeless people around Houston. This begs the question — why the heck didn’t McConaughey tweet about this? He literally has over 12 million followers on Twitter. Surely, he could have raised more money for I Am Waters that way. Maybe he didn’t want to Tweet and drive. He basically lives in a Lincoln now, right?
It also appears that McConaughey paid close attention to cinematography while filming his clips. He deliberately uses the iPhone camera vertically, much like our parents and grandparents, so that we have to watch tiny videos with huge black bars around them. It’s a really interesting cinematic choice. At least, we’re saying it was was a deliberate choice because we don’t want to admit to ourselves that such a successful actor would be tech-illiterate.
Since the news blew up on the front page of Reddit, McConaughey now has over 45,000 subscribers. Of course he does. But, let’s not forget that 24 hours ago he was just a struggling YouTube vlogger hoping to make it. Don’t forget where you came from, McConaughey! Time is a flat circle.