Rule #17: To hide a beautiful person, it's imperative to use a pair of glasses as camouflage until removing the specs to reveal the killer good looks that lie beneath.
The Proof: Rachael Leigh Cook goes geek to chic in She's All That, Clark becomes a super man in Superman and even Scooby-Doo's Velma takes on a vixen air after losing the four-eyed goggles.
Rule #18: For teen idols to be taken "seriously" as an adult, they should explore their sexuality by acting all smutty roles.
The Proof: Jodie Foster as a hooker in Taxi Driver, Keanu Reeves as a hustler in My Own Private Idaho, Lindsay Lohan as a stripper in I Know Who Killed Me.
Rule #19: The more intensely couples on love-based reality shows declare their love, the more assured an off-camera breakup will occur.
The Proof: Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson after Newlyweds, Flavor Flav and Brigitte Nielsen from Strange Love, all of duds … erm, dudes from The Bachelor.
Rule #20: Stoners travel in duos and pot smokers love a pal.
The Proof: Cheech and Chong, Harold and Kumar, Ice Cube and Chris Tucker (Friday) and Weeds' Andy (Justin Kirk) and Doug (Kevin Nealon).
Rule #21: The key difference between "Beautiful People" and "Models" is that the former does have a smidge of performing talent — the latter sure don't.
The Proof: Cindy Crawford is foul in 1995's Fair Game, Gisele Bundchen is a wreck in 2004's Taxi and Elle MacPherson was the enemy of funny on an extended 2000 Friends stint as Joey's new roommate.
Rule #22: A bit of the horizontal mambo spices up Hollywood's remakes of classic TV fare for the big screen.
The Proof: James Kirk (Chris Pine) blasts off in J.J. Abrams' Star Trek, Tom Cruise goes all missionary with Thandie Newton for Mission Impossible II and Leslie Nielsen and Priscilla Presley condone safe sex with full body condoms for The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!
Rule #23: What goes up must come down: Drug withdrawal is a cinematic bitch.
The Proof: Ewan McGregor climbs the walls (literally) from lack of heroin in Trainspotting, there is methadone to the madness of Matt Dillon's junkie Drugstore Cowboy and Jennifer Jason Leigh's addicted undercover cop kicks the habit harshly in Rush.
Rule #24: Nerdgasm alert! Small-screen science types must be both smart and sexy.
The Proof: Fox makes no Bones about Emily Deschanel's looks, Marg Helgenberger turns a lab coat into haute couture on CBS' CSI and Olivia Wilde and Jennifer Morrison are both Doctor Feelgood on Fox's House.
Rule #25: Sometimes it's better to watch a Beautiful Person in a movie with the sound turned off.
The Proof: Angelina Jolie in A Mighty Heart, George Clooney in Leatherheads, Will Smith in Seven Pounds, Miley Cyrus in Hannah Montana.
MORE: 2009's Summer Hotties!