It's hard out there in celebreality TV land … every D-lister worth his or her extended 15 minutes of fame is clamoring to carve out his own little slice of primetime TV glory. Competition to get on a successful celebreality show is so intense that, according to our well-placed sources, producers of shows like Dancing With the Stars have the celebs beating the path to their doors for a spot on the ABC hit. With that in mind, we've imagined just how some of the more, ahem, eager wannabe celebreality stars might have pitched themselves to the DWTS powers that be …
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"Yes, my leg might fly off." — Heather Mills
If Given a Spot on the Show, She Promised to: Not perform to any Beatles tunes.
Her DWTS Appearance: a Boon or a Bust? Big, fat bust. Mills, who's been named one of the five most hated female celebrities in polls, might have hoped to drum up some support amongst American viewers during her very public, very acrimonious split with beloved Beatle Paul McCartney. But no dice. Though any other personality might have received kudos and admiration for participating in a fierce dance competition series with a prosthetic limb, especially when she finished in a respectable seventh place, Mills had sparked such negative publicity that her post-DWTS opportunities have been, well, nil. Even her appearance fee sparked controversy; she had reportedly vowed to donate her entire $200,000 DWTS fee to a vegan charity, but court papers related to her divorce suggested she only gave away half of her paycheck.
KEEP READING: "I can get your kids Hannah Montana concert tickets."