Hollywood's Highs And Lows: June 3, 2010

By Natalie Silverman , Hollywood.com Staff | Thursday, June 03, 2010

Hollywood's Highs And Lows: June 3 2010

Welcome to Hollywood's Highs and Lows, where we put the 'intern' back in the internet.

Today's Highs
r2d2

Carleton College Has The Droids You're Looking For.

In the interest of full disclosure, I have to let you know that my school, Macalester College, and Carleton College are bitter rivals. Which is why it physically pains me to acknowledge that they’ve done something really, really cool.

In honor of the end of the school year, or possibly just that they have a building with a big dome on it, students at Carleton College decided to turn their Goodsell Observatory into a giant replica of R2D2. If Carleton wants to continue the Star Wars theme, they shouldn’t have too much of a problem finding a pale, whiny loser to dress up as Anakin Skywalker. (Take that, Carleton! Drink blood, smoke crack, worship Satan, go Mac!)

Ben Kingsley Auditions for Transformers

Sir Ben Kingsley, bald actor extraordinaire, followed in the footsteps of The Hills’ Heidi Montag by releasing a joke audition video for Transformers 3.

Sir Ben Kingsley Shows Up Heidi Montag - watch more funny videos

While the video is certainly tongue-in-cheek, I can’t help but hope that Kingsley somehow does get a part in the explosion-heavy series. Kingsley hasn’t had a problem with taking low-brow, high-paying roles in the past, and therefore has turned into something of a living barometer for a film’s quality. You can generally tell how good a film is going to be by looking at how much effort Kingsley puts into his role.

Let’s look at how some films rank on our patented Kingsley Scale.
kingsley gandhi

1. Gandhi
Kingsley Scale: 5/5 (shits he could give)
Film Quality: 5/5 stars
This is Kingsley’s big, epic movie, and he’s playing one of the most beloved historical figures of all time. It’s Kingsley’s Oscar bait, so of course he’s acting his ass off. The film itself is very good, if a bit long, and went on to win 8 Oscars.

KingsleyShutterIsland

2. Shutter Island
Kingsley Scale: 4/5
Film Quality: 4/5
Kingsley’s a lot more relaxed in this film, he seems to be having fun with the slightly ludicrous script. His performance matches the pulpy tone of the film perfectly, and neither seems to be taking themselves too seriously.

KingsleyPop

3. Prince Of Persia: The Sands Of Time
Kingsley Scale: 3/5
Film Quality: 2/5
Kingsley’s phoning in this role, much like how Mike Newell phoned in this movie. He throws in a few creative line readings, but the overall impression is that he doesn’t care about the movie much, and neither should you.

kingsleybloodrayne

4. BloodRayne
Kingsley Scale: 0/5
Film Quality: 1/5
You know your film must be really terrible if you can basically see Ben Kingsley counting his paycheck as he reads his lines. And I mean literally reads. I’ve heard MTA announcers with more enthusiasm. BloodRayne (one of Uwe Boll’s earlier trainwrecks) is absolutely terrible, and Kingsley’s vacant stare should be taken as a warning to get out while you still can.

Just think of how convenient it would be to be able to judge Transformers 3 with the Kingsley-o-meter! By the first teaser, we could check for that dull, lifeless look in his eyes and know whether to stay away.

Today's Lows

Heroes Not Welcome in LA

Out of work actors, and a few long-term professionals, have made a living for years entertaining LA’s tourists along Hollywood Boulevard's Walk of Fame, by dressing up as superheroes or celebrities and posing for photos. But the LAPD has apparently lost patience with the caped performers, and have been clearing the masked panhandlers off the boulevard.

Street performers are legally on shaky ground- they must be paid in tips rather than a set price. Lately, the LAPD have begun to crack down, and arrest the performers for operating without a business permit. In Confessions Of A Superhero, a 2007 documentary about these street performers, Christopher Dennis and Maxwell Allen (who work as Superman and Batman, respectively) explain what they need to do to stay on the right side of the law.

These performers may not be “heroes” in the traditional sense, but they do provide the invaluable service of keeping LA’s tourists entertained and distracted. Without them, tourists would soon begin to realize that the Walk of Fame is just a bunch of stars on the ground, and that Los Angeles is, in fact, really boring. The tourist industry will be devastated, and the tourists themselves will desperately turn to photographing LA residents who look vaguely like actors when you tilt your head and squint. Not to mention the hassle for the LAPD, as they would have to find another excuse to avoid fighting real crime.

Sources: The AVClub, io9 , Slashfilm