Host Hugh Jackman ends the show on stage during the 81st Annual Academy Awards held at Kodak Theatre. Hollywood, CA - 02/22/09 |
8:31: The Tonys, er, Oscars begin with a musical number featuring host Hugh Jackman …
8:34: … and Anne Hathaway as Richard Nixon.
8:38: As far as musical numbers go, this seven-minute, Best Picture-nominee-encompassing sequence was impressive, but ratings cure? Uh, no.
8:39: Jackman’s Brangelina punch line goes utterly laughless. Further proof that even when you try for a friendly chuckle at Brad and Angelina’s expense, you lose!
8:43: Interesting: This year, it appears, randomly chosen (read: available) winners of big categories past will individually heap praise on each nominee. It’s a nice touch, although … the nominees are getting more face time than the winner will get!
8:47: Penelope Cruz wins the first award, Best Supporting Actress. Nobody claps when she thanks her Vicky Cristina Barcelona director Woody Allen, then everyone claps for her thank-you to Pedro Almodovar.
8:52: Comedic soul mates Steve Martin and Tina Fey make for by far the funniest presenter banter of the night before announcing the screenplay awards.
8:56: Dustin Lance Black wins Best Original Screenplay for Milk and gives a rousing speech that, even at just 26 minutes in, clearly becomes the front runner for Best Speech.
9:00: Next up is Slumdog Millionaire’s screenwriter Simon Beaufoy, who offers a less emotional speech and calls Freida Pinto by her character’s name.
9:02: In a moment that’ll single-handedly sustain the traffic of gossip blogs for months to come, Jennifer Aniston takes the stage mere inches from where Brangelina are sitting. Oh, right -- Jack Black’s on the stage, too.
9:06: Wall-E wins for Best Animated Feature. Shocker!
9:08: La Maison en Petits Cubes wins for Animated Short Film, thereby blemishing my Oscar pool. Every year, Animated Short Film, every year! But the director, Kunio Kato, makes it all OK with a simple “Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.”
9:16: Art Direction: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.
9:19: Costume Design: The Duchess.
9:23: Makeup: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.
9:31: Natalie Portman presents with Ben Stiller-turned-Joaquin Phoenix (the hirsute, career-changing version) in a bit that’s much funnier than a similar one that went down at Saturday’s Spirit Awards. (What, no Christian Bale send-up?) Perhaps less funny is the fact that Best Cinematography nominees are getting overshadowed by the skit, when the actors each get the royal treatment for their nominations.
9:34: Nonetheless, Best Cinematography goes to Slumdog.
9:38: Jessica Biel stops by for a recap of the scientific technical awards, which are somewhat worth our time now.
9:42: Judd Apatow and Co. unveil a hilarious Pineapple Express-themed tribute to the year’s comedies, with a little help from ... Schindler's List cinematographer Janusz Kaminski. Who knew he'd be funny?
9:47: Live-Action Short: James Franco butchers the winner’s title, but in his defense, Spielzeugland doesn't exactly roll off the tongue.
9:52: Beyonce gets in on the musical fun. Aha -- so that’s what she’s doing at the Oscars.
10:00: An hour and a half in, the telecast doesn’t feel a second longer than an hour and a quarter.
10:01: Cuba Gooding is one of the past Best Supporting Actor winners on hand to introduce this year’s field. Man, how hard did his agent fight for that spot?!
10:02: In a landslide victory, Alan Arkin takes home Blunder of the Night when he calls Philip Seymour Hoffman “Seymour Philip Hoffman.” Hoffman can’t help but crack up, even though Arkin has no idea of his mistake. Unintentional-comedy gold.
10:05: Heath Ledger unsurprisingly wins Best Supporting Actor, which his father, mother and sister accept on his behalf with very classy and composed speeches. Quite the bittersweet moment -- and not a dry eye in the house.
10:12: Bill Maher, sporting what appears to be a leather suit (!), presents the award for Best Documentary, the category in which his film Religulous was snubbed.
10:15: Man on Wire wins. Its subject Philippe Petit accepts the award by doing the hidden-coin trick and balancing the statuette on his face.
10:17: Documentary Short Subject: Smile Pinki. Huh?
10:26: Visual Effects: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Makes sense.
10:28: Sound Editing: The Dark Knight.
Photo(s) by Kevin Winter/Getty Images- © 2009- All Rights Reserved