Lemme explain the last 10 years ... narrated by our alter ego*, Britney Spears
*(Just kidding.)
My First Song!
I remember I kept sayin', "Y'all, it's B-R-I-T-N-E-Y, not B-R-I-T-T-A-N-Y." ("Hit Me Baby One More Time" plays softly in the background.) This was when I wasn't as famous as Brittany Murphy — I know, LOL, right? Mom thought I stabbed her in the back by going along with this sex-playpen thing, but she was just mad because everyone started asking her if my boobs were real or not. But whatever, it reads "safe sex" if you ask me. For heaven's sake, I'm wearing full-bottoms, and I'm hugging a Teletubby (Tinky-Winky, I don't care if you're gay or not). And wow, my stomach looks AMAZING. Dad's right here, and he agrees.
KEEP READING: My One and Only Boyfriend of Four Years!