When I set out to make a list of the Top 10 Ass-Kickings in Cinema I had no idea how hard it would be. Sure, it's a breeze to rattle off dozens of fight scenes that are memorable for one reason or another, but I didn't want this to be a list of simple back-and-forth, well-choreographed fights. I wanted this to be a list of the greatest beatdowns on celluloid; The kind that stop you cold because someone on screen just got their ass handed to them in the most glorious, no-mercy way possible.
At the same time, I didn't want to just pick a bunch of clips of people being beaten to death. The baseball bat scene in Casino or the fire extinguisher scene in Irreversible, for example, are not beat downs; they're executions. These ten below, though...these are ass-kickings of the highest order. Almost all of them involve the underdog as well, which is not an unsurprising trend. There's just something about seeing the presumed loser snap and go ape-shit, owning any and all that get in their way...
It should go without saying that the below videos are chock full of spoilers, but considering I think most people just want to watch some good 'ole fashioned violence at this stage, I doubt plot intricacies are a big deal.
10. Layer Cake
I shouldn't be surprised that a list inspired by Matthew Vaughn's Kick-Ass ended up having another Matthew Vaughn film on it, but I swear it wasn't intentional. I'm just a huge fan of his directorial debut, Layer Cake, and particularly have always loved this scene of what happens when Morty runs into Freddie, the disgusting slob responsible for his stint in jail. Like a kind British gentlemen, the normally-reserved Morty buys Freddie a meal before beating the bangers and mush right out of him in the middle of a cafe. And it ends with the perfect final line, "Sorry about all that, I won't be around for a while."
9. Tom Yum Goong (The Protector)
I still think Tom Yum Goong is the best work Tony Jaa has done yet. And though I do love the single-shot scene of him running up several flights of stairs while putting approximately 80 fools into the hospital, my favorite scene of the movie is the final battle. It starts off with Jaa vs the gargantuan Nathan Jones - who I really wish had been cast as Juggernaut in X-Men: The Last Stand over Vinnie Jones; he wouldn't even have needed a muscle suit - transitions to him pounding on 3 roided up monsters with elephant bones(!) and then ends with him stabbing said monsters with said bones. Best improv weapon ever?
8. Ninja Scroll
I know, I know. An ass-kicking in an animated film isn't quite as impressive as one in a live-action film, but I've always loved the scene of Jubei killing Tessai, the giant golem. Sadly the clip below loses a bit of its coolness because it's dubbed, but it's still the only clip in here that actually makes me cringe. Turns out the sound of bone sliding down steel is like nails on a chalkboard to me.
7. Deadbeat at Dawn
Truth be told I haven't actually seen Deadbeat at Dawn, but when I told a friend I was coming up with this list, he insisted I watch the below clip. I did an instantly fell in bloody love with this madman and his nunchucks. For a non-budget, never-heard-of-it exploitation flick from the '80s, this is actually an impressive bit of fight choreography. Plus it really knows how to escalate for maximum absurdity. Jump to the 2:00 minute mark for the good stuff to start.
6. Taken
Everything Liam Neeson does in this movie is the epitome of badass. He's perpetually calm and cool and collected and ready to throat chop an entire room full of Eastern bloc thugs. I couldn't actually find the clip of Neeson in the kitchen with the men who kidnapped his daughter, which is my favorite scene in the movie, but I think this highlight of his greatest hits will suffice.
5. Ip Man
In order to make a stand against the Japanese oppressors, a Wing Chun master must prove the superiority of his craft. We've seen this fight a handful of times in varying Chinese martial arts flicks, but for my money Ip Man pulls it off the best. Jet Li's Fist of Legend is a close second, but Donnie Yen is a bit commanding on screen and I think this scene of him versus a dozen trainees with something to prove is cut together with a little more anger. The good stuff starts at 2 minutes in.
4. Oldboy
The hallway scene in Oldboy was the first fight that came to mind when I thought of doing this list. It's also the only rumble on this list that I think became a staple the second people laid eyes on it. There's just no denying how joyful it is to see Oh Dae-su, a man who has been cooped up in a prison for 15 years, put his solitary confinement-refined skills to the test. It's an impressive, single-take shot that I never, ever tire of watching.
3. Out for Justice
Every now and then we need a reminder that there was a time when Steven Seagal wasn't a punchline. He could carrying himself like a badass with the best of them, as evidenced by his severe beat down of William Forsythe in Out for Justice. This isn't even close to a fair fight and I love how unnecessarily drawn out the brawl is. I miss this Seagal.
2. Once Were Warriors
Ouch. This is probably the most savage ass-kicking on this list and it comes from a seldom-seen drama about lower-class life in New Zealand. You spend the entire movie wishing the worst on the despicable and abusive father delivering the blows in this bar room fight, but the swift and furious brutality happens to such a deserving character that it's an almost euphoric catharses when it arrives.
1. A Bittersweet Life
I feel like A Bittersweet Life arrived at a unique turning point for South Korean cinema and was oddly overshadowed a bit because of it. It was released around the time Oldboy was making waves internationally and it never seemed to be able to share that spotlight. That's a shame because it means a lot of people have missed out on this part of Ji-woon Kim's (The Good, The Bad, The Weird) filmography. Its story of one man trying to draw an ethical line in Korea's mob world has a number of great ass-kickings in it - I almost thought about also including the scene where Byung-hun Lee puts some cocky street racers in their place, but didn't want to crowd the list - but the obvious standout is our main character's escape from execution. It's kinetic, it's elaborate, it's gorgeous. Plus, Byung-hun Lee just kicks a ton of face in it.