Charlize Theron “struggled mentally” the first time she set out to adopt a child, because the process left her tired and heartbroken over and over again.
The Monster star eventually became a mom in 2012 after years of shattered adoption dreams.
“Some of the lowest points in my life were dealing with the first time I filed; it really took an emotional toll,” she tells Elle magazine. “There were many situations that didn’t work out, and you’d get attached and have all your hopes up and then just get crushed…”
Adoption has always been “very personal” to Charlize, who is now mom to a son and a daughter, and she reveals it was always her plan to give a child she did not birth herself a home.
“When I first filed (for adoption), my mom showed me a letter I’d written when I was little; I asked if we could go to the orphanage,” she says. “I was always aware that there are so many children in this world who don’t have families.
“Adoption is a very personal thing. I know people whom I love dearly who don’t feel that they could raise another child as their own. I respect that. But for me – and I can’t be the only person out there – I never saw a difference in raising an adopted child versus my own biological child.”
She also insists she’s not missing out on anything by not having a biological child.
“This was always my first choice, even when I was in a relationship,” she continues. “I was very honest with my partners that I was open to having my own biological kids but that adoption had to be a part of my life. I felt that strongly about it.”