The Will & Grace star secretly separated from screenwriter Zelman last year (11), but the pair continued to act as a couple for the sake of its eight-year-old son Roman, even moving from Los Angeles to New York together so Messing could shoot her new TV show Smash.
But the actress, who met Zelman in college in 1990, confesses the dissolution of their partnership was not easy, especially as it coincided with a big career move.
She tells U.S. publication Ladies Home Journal, “Twenty years. It’s a very long time. When I say the move to New York was traumatic, it was traumatic because every aspect of my life was going through a huge change.”
But Messing refuses to see the relationship as a failure, vowing to view it in much more realistic terms.
She adds, “I think the idea of a partner for life is incredibly romantic. But now we’re living to 100. A hundred years ago people were dying at age 37. ‘Til death do us part was a much different deal.”
Neither Messing nor Zelman have filed for divorce to officially end their marriage, but the actress has reportedly moved on to date her Smash co-star Will Chase.