EXTRA: We Have No Shame; Go to ‘N Sync Show

So around 60,000 of you got tickets for Friday night’s ‘N Sync concert at the Rose Bowl here, which means millions of you — well, didn’t. Wondering what it’s like to attend a real-live “No Strings Attached” show at the feet of Joey, Justin, Chris, Lance and JC?

Wonder no more.

If you were too cool, too embarrassed or just couldn’t get through to Ticketmaster at 10 a.m., we weren’t.

Here’s what you missed:

L.A. traffic at its best.

‘N Sync (© Jive Records) So we were lost. And like the star that guided the three wise men, thus appeareth … a minivan plastered with posters and painted with the message: “HONK IF U LUV ‘N SYNC.” Tailing this, we joined the stampede of other highly decorated vans — all driven by parents, all with their girls bopping in the passenger seats. And wouldn’t you know? Everyone was on the same team, working in harmony to get one another to the concert. This meant allowing others to change lanes, politely asking if one could merge ahead of you, etc. And finally, there was the appearance of nearly 10 limousines en route to the Rose Bowl, each one blasting our favorite boyband out the speakers, each chock-full of screaming prepubescents who pooled their allowance for this one splurge. That sound you hear is the limo driver banging his head on his wheel.

To body glitter or not to body glitter.

We just wanted to look our age — too old to be jail bait, too young to be mothers of the concert attendees. This called for T-shirts and jeans, and in our plain clothes we stuck out in the sea of “I LUV JC” painted faces and ‘N Sync concert tees (which, by the way, if you’d bought one from the guy on the street while stuck in traffic, you’d have saved yourself $20). High school underclassmen, meanwhile, wore leather pants and apron-string tanks. Checking their collective complexion every 10 minutes, these fans were hoping the house lights would sweep over their faces when Justin sang “(God Must Have Spent) A Little More Time on You.” And he’d notice them, fall in love, scout them out and invite them on a “private party” on their tour bus. (Dream on, little girls). No one ever screams alone. ‘N Sync

The ‘N Sync guys say : “Hello.” The crowd screams. The ‘N Sync guys say: “We hope you guys are having a good time.” The crowd screams more. The ‘N Sync guys say: “Are you having a good time?” The audience unleashes a blood-curdling scream. The ‘N Sync guys say: “I said, ARE YOU HAVING A GOOD TIME?” The audience unleashes a blood-curdling scream — plus one. Even from our Section 14, Row 41 seats (translation: waaaaay in the back), we still went stone deaf from the, like, four rows of people shrieking behind us. As a future note to the ‘N Sync guys: There’s no point introducing your band. This is all we hear anyway: “And on drums, the fabulous [screaming] … and right here on keyboard, give it up for [screaming] … and on lead guitar …” The puppet masters.

So, you wanted to know about the concert itself? Oh. Well, after opening acts Pink (“There You Go”) and Sisqo (“The Thong Song”) — which we missed — ‘N Sync appeared from the sky on (you guessed it) marionette strings, which were snipped so they could cut loose with the title song off their new album, “No Strings Attached.” Other numbers performed included: “I Want You Back,” “Tearin’ Up My Heart,” “Space Cowboy,” “It’s Gonna Be Me,” “I Drive Myself Crazy,” “It Makes Me Ill,” “Digital Get Down,” “Just Got Paid,” “I Thought She Knew,” “This I Promise You” and of course, “Bye Bye Bye.” And then the hysteria-filled climax: The guys venture into the crowd on a “floating” stage as they crooned, legs dangling just a few feet from outstretched hands. The bottom line: They sounded good — especially for guys who were running around and dancing all the time. And, no, Justin was not wearing his hair in cornrows for this show.

Thank God.