Comedian Julia Louis-Dreyfus fought hard to ignore the dark thoughts that plagued her during her breast cancer battle, even though she was “terrified” about her future.
The Seinfeld icon went public with her health crisis in September, 2017, just hours after claiming her sixth consecutive Emmy Award for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series for Veep.
Production on the seventh and final season of the hit political comedy had to be halted while Julia underwent treatment for the disease, and while she put on a brave face documenting her medical journey on social media, deep down inside, the actress really feared for her life.
However, the 57 year old refused to allow herself to contemplate what would happen if she was to die the next day, and in doing so, managed to avoid hitting rock bottom.
“I didn’t let myself go there,” she told The New Yorker. “Don’t misunderstand: I was to-my-bones terrified. But I didn’t let myself -except for a couple of moments – go to a really dark place. I didn’t allow it.”
Julia’s positive attitude paid off as she has since been declared cancer-free, and the scary journey to regain her health has since made her reevaluate her priorities in life.
“You know if you get on a horse and you have really tight reins and the horse is galloping?” she asked as she reflected on her recent state of mind. “I felt like I had really tight reins on myself. That’s what it felt like: I was just holding on tight…”
Sharing her thoughts about facing death, she added, “I have a different kind of view of my life now, having seen that edge…”
Julia’s candid comments emerge weeks after she was honored with the prestigious Mark Twain Prize for American Humor at a star-studded celebration in Washington, D.C. in October (18), and used her acceptance speech to reflect on her rough year, and how she pulled through.
“Cancer isn’t at all funny, but a big part of dealing with it has been finding the funny moments,” she told the audience. “The old cliche about laughter being the best medicine turns out to be true…”
The last season of Veep is set to premiere in the spring (19).