News, Jan. 16: Kutcher Isn’t Kidding About “Punk’d,” CBS Rejects PETA Super Bowl Ads, Carmen Electra Gets Control of Net Name, More…

Top Story: Kutcher Isn’t Punk-ing Us, He Swears!

Ashton Kutcher promises he isn’t pulling one of his trademark practical jokes–his MTV show Punk’d is really finished. “I’ve become the boy who cried wolf,” he acknowledged to The Associated Press while offering some assurance that his decision to end the show after two seasons isn’t just another hoax. “Let’s put it this way,” he said. “I’m getting ready to start shooting two movies, I’m still working on That ’70s Show, I’m producing two other shows for MTV and creating a one-hour drama pilot for Fox … I don’t have the time.” Fans, however, will be able to get their Punk’d fix Tuesday when the first season of the prank show comes out on DVD, AP reports.

Mystikal Jailed for Sexual Battery

Grammy-nominated rapper Mystikal, aka Michael Tyler, was sentenced to six years in prison Thursday for sexual battery, AP reports. The victim accused Tyler and two bodyguards of forcing her to perform oral sex after they accused her of stealing $80,000 worth of his checks. She denied stealing any money, AP reports. Tyler pleaded guilty to the charges.

Surf Flick Opens Sundance Film Festival

Typifying what founder Robert Redford says is the true spirit of independent filmmaking, the Sundance Film Festival opened Thursday night with the surf film Riding Giants, a documentary by filmmaker Stacy Peralta (Dogtown and Z-Boys). “This is a film about people who do what they do just for the thrill of it,” Redford told a packed house at the debut, Reuters reports. “In a way, that’s why we as filmmakers are all here tonight and this week. We’re here because we love what we do, and it’s the thrill of doing what we do that gives us such pleasure.” The world-renowned indie film festival runs for 10 days, culminating with the awards ceremony Jan. 24.

PETA Ads Won’t Air During Super Bowl

CBS has rejected advocacy group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals’ Super Bowl advertising proposal, which, Reuters reports, features two scantily clad vegetarians snuggling up to a meat-eating pizza delivery man with the message “Meat can cause impotence.” In a letter, CBS told PETA that it would not run advertisements on “controversial issues of public importance.” “We just want to be able to present our jiggly women,” Lisa Lange, spokeswoman for PETA, told Reuters, asking to join advertisers like beer brewers who have boosted sales with similar images of scantily clad women.

McCartney Won’t Be Questioned in Alleged Assault

A spokesman for the former Beatle Paul McCartney dismissed a newspaper report claiming police wanted to interview the singer about an alleged assault, AP reports. London’s Evening Standard said police planned to speak to McCartney about a dispute that occurred when one of the newspaper’s photographers tried to take the singer’s picture last September while he was standing near the spot where illusionist David Blaine had been suspended in a box near the Thames river. The photographer claims he was punched in the face several times by one of McCartney‘s friends. AP reports McCartney‘s spokesman Geoff Baker, who was at the scene, denied any assault took place.

In More Ex-Beatle News…

In a lawsuit filed by the family of the former Beatle George Harrison against the doctor who treated the cancer-stricken musician before his death in November 2001, Dr. Gilbert Lederman, lawyers for both sides met Thursday with a judge to try to reach a settlement, AP reports. Harrison’s family is suing Lederman, accusing him of holding Harrison’s hand and forcing him to sign the physician’s son’s guitar. Harrison died at the age of 58.

Electra Gets Net Name Back

Former Baywatch star Carmen Electra has won control of the Internet address in a ruling by a United Nations panel, AP reports. WIPO spokeswoman Samar Shamoon explained to AP that an arbitrator for the World Intellectual Property Organization ordered the transfer of the domain name to the 31-year-old actress, who had complained that it was being used in bad faith to divert Internet traffic to a commercial site, Celebrity1000. The ruling upheld Electra’s complaint against the company that registered the name–Network Operations Center of High Prairie, Canada, AP reports. The U.N. arbitration system allows those who believe they have the right to a domain to get it back without having to fight a costly legal battle or pay large sums of money.

Role Call: Preston Returns; Reeves, Ford Have New Projects

Kelly Preston, fresh off her stint in Dr. Seuss’ The Cat in the Hat, has signed on to do the feature Return to Sender. According to the Hollywood Reporter, Preston will play a lawyer who fights to exonerate a woman on death row. As the case unfolds, she begins to question the motives of a man who has befriended her client…Michael Shamberg and Stacey Sher, the producing team behind the upcoming comedy Along Came Polly, are already looking ahead, developing separate projects with Keanu Reeves and Harrison Ford, respectively. Variety reports the Reeves project is a comedy based on an idea generated by the Matrix star, in which he’ll play an American who becomes a success in London and has to deal with the cultural differences. The Ford project is based on the Geeta Anand book For His Sick Kid, a medical drama about a man who finances a cure for a rare disease that is killing two of his kids–then has to fight to get them access to the drug.