NEWSMAKERS: Britney Spears, Literary Figure

Britney Spears was born Dec. 2, 1981. And now that it’s the new millennium and stuff, the singer/dancer/icon has decided to reflect upon her nearly two minutes, er, two decades on this Earth in a book. Britney Spears According to today’s New York Daily News, the memoir, titled “Britney,” will be published in time for the release of Spears’ follow-up album, due in record stores May 9. (Coincidences are the neatest things!)

We wanted to ask Britney’s publisher stuff about how long the book is and what Britney talks about and all that, but nobody returned our call. Probably too busy digesting the import of their new scribe’s tome, no doubt.

What we know is this: Britney’s writing “Britney” with her mom. (Old people are such good spellers!) According to the News, the Britster, who became the leading teen-queen singer with her mega-selling 1999 debut collection “… Baby One More Time,” will spill the goods on “the secrets of her success” and “the importance of family communication.”

If all that sounds terribly, well, uninteresting, Miss Spears is at a disadvantage when pitted against celeb authors. Unlike her more experienced autobiographers, Spears doesn’t have the usual made-money-lost-money-went-to-Betty-Ford-found-the-Lord tale.

She does, however, have some really cool outfits to show off in the exclusive pictures section!

CHAPTER TWO — SHAMPOOS I USED: In other Britney Spears news, the ex-Mouseketeer has inked a deal to do the endorsement thing for Herbal Essences haircare products. Who said her life story had no pathos?

SPLITSVILLE! Actor Keifer Sutherland (“Young Guns”) had filed for the Big D from his wife of three years. Sutherland, 33, and the former Kelly Winn wed Sept. 1, 1996. According to divorce papers filed recently in Los Angeles Superior Court, the couple had been separated since June 30.

COUPLEDOM! Now it can be told: “American Psycho” star Christian Bale, 26, wed civilian Sibi Blazic on Jan. 29 in Las Vegas, gossip maven Liz Smith and other sources report.

ROCKED, NOT ROLLED: Not a good week to be a rocker. Nigel Pulsford, guitarist for alt-rock band Bush (“Everything Zen”), is nursing a broken ankle suffered in a fall from a stage. Meanwhile, Amy Ray, one-half of folkie duo the Indigo Girls, is on the mend following two-fer surgery over the weekend for (1) an appendectomy and (2) an ovarian cyst.

“BEAUTY” PAGEANT: Some more fodder for your Oscar pool: “American Beauty” was named best picture, Kevin Spacey (“American Beauty”) best actor and Hilary Swank (“Boys Don’t Cry”) best actress by the Chicago Film Critics, as announced Monday.