Paul Walker’s mother struggled to wake up in the mornings following the actor’s death, insisting it was difficult to relive his tragic passing every day.
The Fast and the Furious star spent the morning before his death in November, 2013 with his mum Cheryl, and she was expecting to see him later in the day.
“I had a really nice conversation with Paul that morning,” she told The Dr. Oz Show. “He was in my home, he left to go to the event and so I was expecting him back in the early afternoon, evening. And we had plans with his daughter, too, to decorate a Christmas tree that night.”
Cheryl learned Paul had died in a car accident from a friend.
“I think I was in the kitchen and then I heard somebody come in and I looked and it was a friend of mine,” she continued. “Somebody that Paul knew, too… and she looked like she just lost somebody, you know, she looked very upset.”
“And then other people started arriving, including the two young men that Paul grew up with that were trying to get him out of the car,” she added.
Following the tragedy, Cheryl was surrounded by her family, but the pain was too difficult for her to deal with at times.
“(I) didn’t really want to (go on),” she said. “I know I have this wonderful family, and grandchildren too – I felt guilty for even feeling like that, but I, really, honestly, would wish that I didn’t have to wake up in the morning.
“I would never have taken my life but, I really felt that way. Because when you wake up, you have to realize it’s real, and you relive it all over again.”
And dealing with the loss has not become easier for Cheryl in the three-and-a-half years since Paul’s death.
“People think that you should just get over it, but they’ve never experienced it,” she continued. “It’s heartbreaking.”
Paul was filming the seventh installment of the blockbuster franchise when he lost his life, and his brothers Caleb and Cody stepped in to finish the movie for the actor. However, Caleb admits it was too soon for him.
“I always wanted to be like him growing up, and so stepping into his shoes was special, but it was too soon, you know, looking back at it,” he said. “It was, like, just a few months afterward.”
“But the most special part was getting to know his other family that he had been working with for 15 years,” he continued. “Every cast member, every person on the set all had a special, unique bond with Paul.”