TAB TOP 10: Ellen and Anne

The week’s biggest breakup is also, naturally, the week’s biggest tab story. The three major tabs,- the National Enquirer, the Star, and the Globe, all have their own scoop behind the split-up of Anne Heche and Ellen DeGeneres last Saturday. And the three versions, believe it or not, do not differ vastly.

All three tabs agree that the breakup either had something to do with Heche‘s renewed attraction to men (and they seem to think that Vince Vaughn is somehow the man) and DeGeneres‘s desire to have a baby, which ex-girlfriend Heche was not ready for.

With that taken care of, here’s the weekly Top 10 from the tabs:

1. “Behind the Scenes on ‘Survivor’” (Enquirer, p. 41) Jenna reputedly said that doctor Sean had propositioned her for sex three times; Jenna also stated that Colleen and Gervase always went buck naked on the island; and lastly, Jenna wants the world to know that Rudy and Romana were really lazy.

2. “Whitney & Enrique!” (Globe, p. 5) The latest from the home front: Bobby Brown reputedly got pretty sore over Whitney’s infatuation with Enrique Iglesias.

3. “Vegetarians Are Eating Themselves to Death, Reveals New Research” (Weekly World News, p. 8) Also, there is “growing evidence [that] says red meat is the best food for humans!” Go carnivores!

4. “Many People Who Think They’re Going Crazy Are Actually Hearing the Voice Of God” (Weekly World News, p. 72) The interesting question is: can we turn this around, and say that people who think they’re hearing the voice of God are actually going crazy?

5. “Phyllis Diller Falls For Younger Man!” (Globe, p. 7) This makes headlines? Aren’t all men younger than Phyllis Diller?

6. “Camryn Manheim: I’ll Pay $1G to Find a Man” (Star, p.33) A mere thousand bucks? Guess prime-time stardom doesn’t pay like it used to.

7. “Jerry Lewis Telethon Could Kill Him – Pals Fear” (Globe, p. 6) And it ain’t because of the boredom. The 74-year-old comic’s friends are afraid that the stress of the telethon could further tax Lewis’ health.

8. “Martha Stewart: Too Perfect For Love!” (Globe, p. 37) The TV decorum queen’s insistence on living life like it’s one big New Hampton dinner party has allegedly been driving Mr. Right away.

9. “The Bigger Your Buns, the Higher Your I.Q.” (Weekly World News, p. 66) Ah, so there is such thing as a “smart ass.”

10 . “Dumped Kitty Goes From Death Row to Movie Star” (Enquirer, p. 10) The moving story of a Persian cat that escaped the pound to become the on-screen kitty in “Stuart Little.”