TAB WATCH: Whitney and Bobby

Bobby and Whitney, Meg and Dennis, Jennifer and Puffy, Montel and himself. … Want to know what we’re talking about? Read on, for here’re our top tabloid picks of the week.

Whitney and Bobby: Reunited, and it feels so good Here’re the tabs’ takes on the post-jail release reunion between Brown and Houston: The Star says that the couple is going on a “second honeymoon,” and in similar vein, the National Enquirer is reporting that they’re going to renew their wedding vows. The Globe, on the other hand, is not as diplomatic. The tab revealed that family of the couple is reportedly concerned that Houston, after the second honeymoon, will get pregnant and could possibly carry a “crack baby.”

Meg Ryan

The truth behind Meg, Dennis and Russell Last week, the tabs were so surprised by the Ryan-Dennis shocker that they failed to offer their own explanations. But this week, they have come prepared. The Globe basically calls Ryan a manipulator who’s had designs on Russell Crowe ever since they started production on “Proof of Love” in the United Kingdom. And the Star, digging into the actress’s psyche, concludes that her infidelity is but an act of revenge on her flirty ex-hubby Quaid. For what the Enquirer got on the ex-power couple this week, read the next item.

Meg and Dennis’ custody battle And it’s not over their 9-year-old son, Jack, but their joint spiritual guru named Gurumayi, the National Enquirer kindly informs. The problem is reportedly this: After their torrential breakup, Ryan’s too keen on the idea of sharing a spiritual adviser and wants Quaid to find a new one of his own. Puff Daddy and Lopez

Jennifer Lopez: Mrs. Puff Daddy? The Globe, quoting various “sources” close to the R&B power couple, says they are contemplating getting hitched before Puffy’s impending trial date in August (he was slammed with weapon charges after a nightclub shooting in Manhattan in December). When we called the ex-fly girl’s people, they told us, “We haven’t heard anything from Jennifer, and we don’t know what that’s all about.”

The day Kelsey Grammer pulls a J. Edgar Hoover on the president The “Frasier” star’s ex-galpal Tammi Alexander leaked to the Globe that the 45-year-old actor reportedly has a certain fondness for wearing women’s undergarments. According to Alexander, Grammer was secretly wearing a sexy pair of pink women’s thong panties under his suit when he met President Clinton during a visit at the White House. Queen Elizabeth II (©HM The Queen)

Queen: “Go to your room and make babies!” Perhaps knowing a thing or two about token marriages herself, Britain’s Queen Mother Elizabeth II has apparently ordered her young son, Prince Edward, to spend more, er, intimate time with his bride, Princess Sophie, the Globe reports. According to the tab, the royal twosome has been sleeping in separate quarters, fueling rumors that the prince is gay and their marriage merely a smokescreen.

Montel Williams: “I ain’t gonna get none” The 36-year-old talk show host has reportedly embraced celibacy in a belated effort to win back his estranged wife, the Globe tells us. The Williams nest was shattered last year when papa Montel was caught in the arms of a Swedish model.