“She’s a goth now. I spoke to her today and she decided she’s going to be a Wiccan – a witch. So she’s going to take a course in herbs. And I think she probably has her hands on hemlock. I think I will probably die a Socratean death at her hands quite soon… So if next time you see me, and I’m, well, dead, you’ll know what happened.” Emma Thompson fears her eight-year-old daughter will kill her with ill-advised spells.