[IMG:L]Yeah, don’t you just hate it when you’re watching a perfectly good movie, and they ruin it in the last act?
10. No Country for Old Men
Shut up, already.
How they screwed up: It’s great the Coen brothers wanted to bring Cormac McCarthy’s novel to life, but did they have to be so faithful to the story, namely the last non-sequitur scene in which Sheriff Ed Tom Bell (Tommy Lee Jones) rambles on about some random dream he had? Our vote: the second-to-last scene, in which assassin Anton Chigurh (Javier Bardem) — having just killed his last victim in the sordid business — gets into a car wreck but manages to walk away from it. Bang! The end.
KEEP READING: See No. 9 …
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9. Indiana Jones & Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Not blowing in the wind.
How they screwed up: Some may think the whole movie was ridiculous, but really … a circle of crystal aliens coming to life, making things swirl around, blowing up the bad lady’s (Cate Blanchett) head before said aliens zoom off into outer space in a subterranean space ship. Without even ruffling Indy’s fedora? Get real.
KEEP READING: See No. 8 …
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8. Ocean’s Eleven
Can you say: Sequel set-up?
How they screwed up: Picture this: After a job well done, the boys meet up in front of the Mirage’s glorious fountain display. While Debussy’s “Clair de lune” plays triumphantly in the background, one by one, they nod to each other and walk away. Perfect, right? So why did they have to tack on an unnecessary scene showing Danny (George Clooney) getting out of jail, with Rusty (Brad Pitt) and his lady love Tess (Julia Roberts) waiting for him? Sigh.
KEEP READING: See No. 7 …
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7. Broadcast News
And Holly Hunter went on to become a big TV police lady …
How they screwed up: The perfect place to roll credits would have been when control-freak Jane (Holly Hunter) — who is supposed to go away with would-be suitor Tom (William Hurt) but can’t because of his news reporting ethics — jumps into a cab at the airport, starts to tell the driver which route to take but then stops herself. Instead, we get some boring wrap-up on where everyone ended up a few years later. Makes us mad as hell …
KEEP READING: See No. 6 …
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6. Australia
Hey, Baz, remember Romeo + Juliet?
How they screwed up: You think for all the Gone With the Wind-like dramatics and epic scale, Baz could have had the guts to not just wrap everything up in a nice, big red bow. Kill of the hunky Drover (Hugh Jackman) while he saves the orphans from marauding Japanese soldiers perhaps? But no. In scene after endless scene, things just get happier and rosier — and nauseating. And that includes [SPOILER ALERT!] having the little Aboriginal boy ride off into the sunset with his shaman grandfather.
KEEP READING: See No. 5 …
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5. Lady in the Water
Ah, she should have just drowned.
How they screwed up: Ah, remember when M. Night Shyamalan knew from a good, heart-stopping twisty ending? Granted, Lady is supposed to be a bedtime story, in which any number of crazy things can happen, but really — having Story (Bryce Howard) get lifted away by a giant, unseen bird, while the apartment complex denizens look on?
KEEP READING: See No. 4 …
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4. The Abyss
The space ship is all wet.
How they screwed up: OK, director James Cameron totally had us with this action-packed thriller, in which a group of scientists in an underwater lab encounter an alien presence in a deep ocean crevasse while battling Special Ops soldiers sent down to eradicate the supposed threat. Until the last minutes, when the giant, alien space ship, which looks like a bad Disney Little Mermaid theme park ride, rises out of the water to save the day. What, did Jimmy run out of money or something?
KEEP READING: See No. 3 …
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3. War of the Worlds
Talk about good luck!
How they screwed up: We didn’t mind that it was germs that did in the evil aliens. The first W of W, back in the ‘50s, worked fine that way — not to mention the H.G. Wells novel upon which they were based. But when Ray (Tom Cruise) arrives in Boston to find that his ex-wife’s neighborhood as been untouched and his whole family there, safe, waiting for him … well, this may be the worst of Steven Spielberg’s many too-perfect finales.
KEEP READING: See No. 2 …
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2. Return of the Jedi
Something straight out of Dancing With the Stars.
How they screwed up: Sure, those Ewoks are cute, and they provide comic relief in Jedi — using their ingenuity to take down the evil Empire’s machines. But the whole touchy, feely thing, with all the gang kissing and hugging each other while the furballs dance around is way too much. Well, it sure did sell a bunch of stuffed Ewok dolls.
KEEP READING: See No. 1 …
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1. LOTR: Return of the King
JUST END IT ALREADY!
How they screwed up: It ends with Frodo (Elijah Wood) and Sam (Sean Astin) making it off that fffing Mt. Doom. No, actually, it ends with Aragon (Viggo Mortensen) becoming king, getting his Elf queen (Liv Tyler) and bowing to the Hobbits. No, wait, it ends with the Hobbits going back the Shire, and Sam marrying his Hobbit lady. Wait, there’s more. It ends with Frodo writing his account of his adventure. Fitting. No, wait — for heaven sakes already — it ends with Frodo sailing off into the sunset on some boat with Gandalf (Ian McKellen), Bilbo (Ian Holm) and a bunch of Elves. Is that it? Is it really over? Whew.
