Vampire Mall: 24 Hour Vampire Swag To Sink Your Fangs Into


Thank Satan for the Internet, that all night mini-mall of fangalicious swag for vampire shut-ins who haven’t figured out the day walker thing yet.

Don’t laugh. There are enough offerings to whet the appetite of the most discerning undead, and there are gifts befitting any Queen of the Night.

Personal favorites? Tru Blood, the blood orange soft drink that’s “all flavor, no bite.” Beware: it might rot your fangs. Or if you need a pick-me-up that’s more hard core, there’s Blood Energy Potion, which is obviously worth waiting for: it’s totally on back order. So is the Vampire Blood Lust Gift Basket, but fear not: the Dried Blood Drops are still in stock.

Not reaching for your blood bank card yet? For fastidious vamps, there’s glow-in-the-dark Nosferatu soap. If you’re after someone’s heart, there is a bargain basement wood stake for $24.95. And if you fear showing up at that baby shower empty-handed, who doesn’t love a Reborn Vampire Horror Doll?

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