In this satirical farce, porn maven Ronny Bartolotti (Robert Loggia) has big plans for his daughter Katrina (Mena Suvari) to go to college and become a lawyer. Katrina, however, has other plans. An aspiring actress, she leaves her high school sex ed class early one day to appear on "The Quaint Show," where host Quaint McPerson (Sally Kellerman) informs an expectant audience that Katrina, a bona fide virgin, has agreed to be deflowered on the show by the appropriately named Tony the Salami. The blessed event is the idea of Joey Quinn (Bob Hoskins), a one-time protégé of Ronny's who is now a rival porn king. Ronny sets out to stop the show, as does Quaint's son, Brian (Gabriel Mann), who once dated Kristina. Meanwhile, in the true spirit of 21st century exploitation, thousands await the big show via Internet hook-up.