The date was January 1, in the first year of the Anno Domini era. Someone — a peasant? an apostle? those talking bushes the Bible was always mentioning? — turned to someone else and remarked wryly, “Hey. It’s 1/1/1.” A chuckle was shared. The date was sanctified.
And for millennia since, the practice has carried forth, reveling in its timeless glory. Today marks December 12, 2012 — 12/12/12 — a particularly magnificent embodiment of the phenomenon as it marks the last time we’ll see such numerical poetry overrun our calendars until the turn of the 22nd Century… and we’ll probably all be too busy serving the tyrannical Zorlog by then to even enjoy it. So we must make the most of today! As such, we at Hollywood.com (a regular gaggle of duodecaphiliacs — and it’s not often we get to grab ahold of this passion: it truly is eXIIting) have mustered together our 12 favorite “12” movies. Movies that represent the philosophy of the dozen. That uphold the glory of the square root of 144. That understand what it truly means to be the largest single-morpheme number in the English language. So without further ado, we present do you: The 12 Best “12” Movies!
12 Angry Men
Proof that 12 is the only number of jurors that can adequately determine the verdict in a case of justice.
When a pandemic overtakes a human planet, there is only one number of monkeys that can save the day: 12.
Sure, they knocked over a casino just fine with 11 dudes. But 12 dudes? That’s what it takes to steal an egg, people!
Twelve and Holding
13 gets all the star power for being the scariest number. Even 23 got its shot at the title a few years back. But this movie proves that no number holds a candle to 12.
Don’t mess with 12! It’s all about the action in this crime thriller.
The Twelve Tasks of Asterix
This German cartoon teaches us that 12 is the only appropriate number of tasks one might endure to overtake the Roman Empire.
The Twelve Chairs
Mel Brooks made this movie. It’s about 12 chairs. The best number of chairs ever.
Twelve O’Clock High
War. What is it good for? Who the hell knows. But 12? That’s good for everything. That’s what America is all about.
Twelve Years a Slave
Michael Fassbender’s Shame follow-up expresses that sometimes, 12 can be a solemn number.
Need we say more?
Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses
When all conceivable joy is stolen from King Randolph’s empire in an effort to subjugate the young women of his lineage, the stakes escalate beyond fathomable height. Never before have Princess Genevieve and her oppressed sisters known this degree of misery, being robbed of their only creative outlet, their only true connection to themselves and one another: the art of dance. The time-honored practice of melding oneself with the air around and floor beneath her. The injection of symphony into ones veins as a superpower of sorts courses directly through the heart and mind, transforming the very entity of life itself into a dynamic miracle. In the absence of this divine right, this unsung glory, renegade heroine Barbie is charged with restoring hope to the audacious king’s reign, salvaging the viscerally maimed princesses from the hell that has absconded with their souls. It’s 12-tastic.
Untitled 12-Year Project
Richard Linklater has been making this movie for the 12 years. He knows the drill.
[Photo Credit: Reuben Schulz/Getty Images]