First things first — Ryan Gosling is not going to be in Star Wars: Episode VII, so everyone can just calm down. A rumor spread that he was going to play Luke Skywalker’s son, but as the actor’s reps tell HuffPost Entertainment, “this is not true.” But for a moment there we were all excited, so we’ve compiled a list of characters we’d like to see Gosling play should he change his mind and end up in the new film.
Luke Skywalker’s Son
The idea’s already out there, and it’s a pretty good one. Can you imagine the Goose using The Force, wielding a lightsaber, flying a starfighter, and generally just being a badass Jedi? Of course you can. Everyone can. Let’s move on.
Boba Fett’s “Son”
We’ve had Jango Fett and Boba Fett, so why not just add another Fett to the mix? National Treasure Gosling could definitely act the part of the galaxy’s greatest bounty hunter. We’ve seen him rob some banks, make out with Carey Mulligan and then mercilessly kick a guy’s skull in, and cut someone’s gut wide open and reach right in there. Bounty hunter would be no problem.
Mos Eisley Cantina Bartender
The cantina’s a rough place where a lot of shady things go down, and I’m sure our dearest Gosling would handle the stoic duty of bar tending there quite well. He could make the drinks, act all surly, have a few one-liners, and, when the occasion called for it, clean up any dead bodies left at the end of the night. Just your average barman duties, really.
I know what you’re thinking. “A stormtrooper, really?” Yes, really. We would never see his face, which I will admit is a drawback, but we would see him run into things, be completely unable to aim a blaster, and generally be pitiful. From a standpoint of curiosity, I want to see what it looks like when the perfect man fails at everything.
Lord of the Ewoks
I’m not quite sure exactly what this role would entail, but it would mean that Ryan Gosling hung out with Ewoks all the time. There would be a whole lot adorable feistiness going on, and the mass amount of cuteness would probably cause everyone to pull a Death Star and explode.
So there you have it, the five characters Ryan Gosling should play if he were to join Star Wars. Now I’m counting on you, Internet, to make a bunch of Star Wars Gosling art that will make me feel better about the fact that he’s not going to be in this movie.
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