Pacific Rim has got itself quite the eclectic team. It has the brains: Idris Elba. The looks: Charlie Hunnam. The muscle: all those giant robots. And, of course, the wild card, b**ches: Charlie Day. Playing an ingenious scientist in the Guillermo del Toro monster movie, Day has quite the leg up in the realm of intelligence on his Always Sunny in Philadelphia counterpart, Mr. Charlie Kelly. Day’s big screen character, Newton Geiszler, knows everything there is to know about the vicious kaiju who are terrorizing Earth and signs up to help shut down an interdimensional portal that is allowing these creatures transport into our world. Yep, he’s a much brighter bulb than Day’s beloved Green Man.
But just because the Champion of the Sun spends most of his workday killing rats and stalking coffee shop waitresses, that doesn’t mean he’s not well versed in a few hard sciences himself. We’ve collected some of the character’s wisest gems in honor of Day’s new scientific turn. So read on and behold: the Science of Charlie Kelly. A master of karate, friendship, and so much more.
Prof. Charlie Kelly on Sedatives
“There’s some sort of weird chemical reaction that happens when you combine cat food, beer, and glue. It makes you feel extremely sick and tired, and you’re able to fall asleep.”
Prof. Charlie Kelly on Feline Zoology
“I bet it flattened itself out, went right through a seam in your wall. Cats do not abide by the laws of nature.”
Prof. Charlie Kelly on Alternative Fuel Sources
“You pour gas into the car using one of those funnels, and I count how much gas is going into the car.”
Prof. Charlie Kelly on Nutrition
“Dude, you could totally chop a camel in its hump and drink all its milk off the… off the tip of the thing, man!”
Prof. Charlie Kelly on Hematology
“I swallowed like a million blood capsulettes, ’cause I was gonna cough up a handful of blood … And now I’m thinkin’ you’re not supposed to eat them or something, ’cause they’re making me really sick.”
Prof. Charlie Kelly on Zombies… or Rats… or Jaws
“Zombies. I’ve seen it once before, in a rat. And I see it now, in men. Once one gets a taste for its own kind, it can spread through the pack like a wildfire. Mindlessly chomping and biting at their own hinds. Nothing but the taste of flesh on their minds. You know the thing about a rat? It’s got no life in its eyes. Black eyes like a doll’s eyes. Don’t seem to be living at all when it come at ya. ‘Til it bites ya. And then the eyes roll over white. You don’t hear nothing but the screaming and the hollering…”
Prof. Charlie Kelly on the Scientific Method
“All plans fall apart when you put them under a microscope.”