Captioning Daniel Radcliffe’s Hilarious Dog Walking Photo

 Despite being nowhere near the announced cast list for Judd Apatow’s upcoming comedy Trainwreck, Daniel Radcliffe and Marisa Tomei were revealed to be a potential part of the film by way of some curious set photos from the New York City shoot. In the photos, Radcliffe and Tomei are seen covered under a blanket of poodles. Radcliffe is also shown walking a big group of dogs solo. If the two actors are, in fact, part of the movie they would join a seriously odd and wondrous cast that including the likes of Amy Schumer, Bill Hader, Brie Larson, Colin Quinn, Vanessa Bayer, Ezra Miller John Cena, and Barkhad Abdi.

Since we doubt that Mr. Radcliffe has morphed into some sort of crazy dog person in the ensuing years since the Harry Potter went on permanent recess, we’re just going to ignore this little tweet from director Judd Apatow denying Radcliffe’s involvement and assume that he’s in the film, albeit in a small cameo role. Whatever Radcliffe’s role in the film turns out to be, it looks hilarious, and the images of the actor corralling a half dozen dogs at a time are all so wonderfully caption-able, we couldn’t help put take a stab at them with our best one-liners.


Daniel Radcliffe and Marisa TomeiGetty Images/Steve Sands

“No, it’s okay. You just have to sing to them and they’ll calm down. I saw it in a movie once.”  

Harry Potter had to take up dog walking after earning that useless Philosophy of Magic degree from Wizard State University.

“I don’t know why you expect me to control them; I think a few of these dogs are bigger than me!”

“I’m starting to rethink this whole ‘quit showbiz to become a dog walker and search for your inner happiness’ thing.”

“I’m not sure, but one of these may be my uncle.”

“Get some dogs, they said. It’ll help you recover from the trauma of losing Sirius, they said. Don’t worry, they almost never trample you to death, they said.”

“…And then the spell must have ricocheted off of something, because everyone in the Gryffindor common room turned into a dog and Ron keeps terrorizing the hot dog carts and I don’t know what to do.” 

And now:

Daniel Radcliffe and Marisa TomeiGetty Images/Steve Sands

“What, you think I’m scared of a few dogs? I conquered the Dark Lord. I am invincible.”

“I mean, once you learn how to ride a dragon, other animals just don’t seem that intimidating anymore.”

“Lean Parseltounge at Hogwarts, they said. You’ll never need to know Poodletounge,  they said. The poodles will never attack… “

“Could Cripple Billy do this? No. No he could not.”

“You wanna start something? I’m Harry Potter, I will curse you into next week. I will command these poodles to lick you to death.”

“What? Have you seen rent prices recently? That Harry Potter money doesn’t cover everything.”