Nobody Cookies Anybody in ‘Dawn of The Planet of the Apes’ Trailer, But It Still Looks Awesome


Things have not gone well for humanity since James Franco decided to help a chimpanzee get better at puzzles. In the new trailer for Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, hitting theaters July 11 — three years after the surprising success of Rupert Wyatt’s Rise (which, logistically, really seems like it should follow “Dawn”) of the Planet of the Apes — we see that mankind has dwindled to to the likes of Jason Clarke (ape-friendly), Gary Oldman (anti-ape), a couple of dunderheaded drunks who still don’t seem to have understand that apes are smart now, and a campfire resident who prophecizes about how apes have the upper hand  opposable thumbs and all  in that they don’t need fancy things like electricity or heat.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes20th Century Fox

But apes don’t want war, so insists Caesar, Andy Serkis’ top banana chimp who led the ’11 picture and incited a revolution with the simple act of cookieing Rocket (and oh what a mistake that seems to have been… like Franco-father, like monkey-son). Caesar wants to live in harmony with the few remaining humans, but his fur-laden brethren don’t seem to be on the same page.

Meanwhile, we can only assume that somewhere in the mix, a kindly, well-educated bonobo is developing a serum to boost the intellectual capacity of the horses that the apes have been using as transport, thus leading to a follow-up series in which horse trounces primate-kind.

Staff editor Michael Arbeiter’s natural state of being can best be described as “mild panic attack.” His earliest memories of growing up in Queens, New York, involve nighttime conversations with a voice from his bedroom wall (the jury’s still out on what that was all about) and a love for classic television that spawned from the very first time he was allowed to watch “The Munsters.” Attending college at SUNY Binghamton, a 20-year-old Michael learned two things: that he could center his future on this love for TV and movies, and that dragons never actually existed — he was kind of late in the game on that one.