Word from our friends Down Under and y’know, NASA, is that, the world will keep on turning. The apocalypse has not claimed Australia, so contrary to popular/Mayan belief, life as we know it will not come to an end on December 21. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t prepare for it as though it’s still going to happen. And no, we don’t mean by stocking up on batteries or toiletries or our dear, departed Twinkies. (In fire and brimstone, how handy would those things actually turn out to be, anyway?)
Rather, you should be checking off things on your pop culture bucket list before the universe universally bites the big one. For the record, watching The Bucket List and/or 2012 should absolutely not be on your apocalyptic pop culture bucket list. Instead, we’ve come up with some of the must-see, must-read, must-listen things in entertainment that you must soak in before doomsday go and throws a wrench in your plans for the rest of your year/life.
Before you go checking your Mayan calendar once more, check these off your pop culture first. And then, y’know, tell your loved ones how much you cared, etc.
Hold Your Own Oscars: If when the clock strikes midnight everything goes to hell in a collective handbasket, we’ll never get to know who would be nominated for the 2013 Oscars, let alone the winners. Silver lining of not knowing the fate of Silver Linings Playbook: you won’t have to watch host Seth MacFarlane do a bunch of voices and, if you so desire, you can name David O. Russell’s romantic dramedy the Best Picture of 2012. Better yet, give it to the one Academy Award contender you’d want to watch the most before your demise. Sorry, Lincoln, but we gotta hand that one to the downright charming and plain joyous Moonrise Kingdom, pictured.
YouTube Marathon All Those TV Series You Never Got Around To: Look, you’re going to have to make peace with the fact that, despite everyone on the planet telling you otherwise, you never got around to watching The Wire. There’s really nothing you can do about it now, not with such precious little time left. You can, however, fake it like the best of them when you meet your maker and they ask you what you thought of Season 3 of Lost. Survey YouTube clips like it’s nobody’s business to find the best television montages for the gist of what you foolishly missed. Our top suggestion: the last few minutes of the series finale of Six Feet Under. Not only will you get to soak in the best series finale of all time, but you’ll find comfort in the idea that, when we die, we all get a glistening montage set to the sounds of Sia.
Rock On, Miss and Mr. American Pies: Conventional wisdom would tell you to listen to as much music as possible over the next few hours, especially mash-ups or compilations that give you a little taste of everything. And while you could certainly hold an apocalyptic dance party set to the awesome sounds of Girl Talk, you should prolong your time with the longest songs you can think of. You know how whenever you listen to Don McLean‘s “American Pie” or Guns N’ Roses‘ “November Rain” or Meat Loaf’s “I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)” it feels like they’ll never end? Now imagine listening to them all in a row. It’ll feel like Doomsday will never actually arrive.
Read Fifty Shades of Grey, Free of Shame: Pre-apocalypse we’d urge you, as a respectable member of society, to never let it be known you’re reading this trite piece of fanfic. In fact, you should hide it at all costs. But do you really want to leave this planet not having read the thing you’ve been kinda sorta secretly wanting to read this whole time? Bonus incentive, it’s written at a third grade level, so you can read the entire thing well before the sun explodes and makes us all fifty shades of exploded with time to spare to do other things. Can’t do that with War and Peace, now can you?
Watch Any Trailer For Any Terrence Malick Trailer: Can’t enjoy the splendor of nature where you are? Pondering the meaning of life in broad, quasi-nonsensical metaphors and sayings that sound deeper than they actually are? Yep, this should about cover it.
[Photo credit: Focus Features]
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