Now that people are ready to think about vampires as nonsexual beings of terror again (at least some people), it is time to elect a filmmaker who can appropriately handle this transition. Someone so deeply ensconced in the world of the grotesque, that no matter how large a Twihard you may be, you will not be able to think of this horror maestro’s bloodsuckers as at all appealing: Deadline reports that Eli Roth. The man who brought us Cabin Fever and two Hostel movies, and who beat a Nazi to death with a the fatal combination of a baseball bat and a Boston accent, is in talks to direct Harker, a Count Dracula movie focusing on the vamp’s hunter, Det. Jonathan Harker.
Dracula, first written by Bram Stoker in 1897, has earned a wide variety of cinematic depictions. Many sway dark, but Roth’s will probably craft one of the grittiest and most horrifying adaptations we’ve seen yet — not to mention the one with the freest flow of blood. Dare it be said: based on the filmmaker’s reputation, Eli Roth’s Harker could very well be the Most Horrifying Dracula Movie Ever.
Among the diverse class of Dracula flicks, there has amounted a variety of other superlatives. Sort through this yearbook… or should we say FEAR-book (No. No we most certainly should not.) to check out some of the winners of other titles…
Most Badass Dracula Movie Ever — Blade: Trinity
The third entry of the Blade series kicked up the stakes (pun very adamantly intended) by adding Count “Drake” Dracula as one of the deadliest threats in the Wesley Snipes film.
Most Slapsticky Dracula Movie Ever — Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein
Among the assortment of horror figures the comedic duo of Abbott and Costello came to face in their Meet Frankenstein film, Dracula was among the most intimidating… and one of the best dancers.
Most Oedipal Dracula Movie Ever — Dracula and Son
In an odd turn of events only the French could manage, this comedy features Dracula and his son moving to Hollywood and falling in love with the same woman. It even beats out the extremely Oedial Son of Dracula, starring Ringo Starr as the count’s murderous heir.
Most Musical (and Puppety) Dracula Movie Ever — Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Granted, this is a play within a movie, but Jason Segel’s character’s Dracula puppet musical about Dracula’s adventures might be one of the most profound pieces of fiction ever.
The Dracula Movie We’ve All Agreed to Forget About to Salvage the Good Reputation of Its Beloved Star — Van Helsing
I know, fellow fans of Hugh Jackman. We agreed never to bring Van Helsing up again, just like we did with Wolverine. Just keep holding out for Les Miserables…
[Photo Credits: New Line Cinema, Universal Studios, Universal Pictures]