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9 Filthy Jokes From ‘Shrek’ That You’re Just Now Understanding As An Adult

Shrek, DreamWorks, 052716
DreamWorks

In 2001, DreamWorks changed the game for children’s animation when they released their blockbuster hit, Shrek. Full of mystery, intrigue and humor, the film follows a grumpy ogre named Shrek who, in an effort to take back his swamp, finds himself entangled with a talking donkey and the the evil Lord Farquaad. Shrek put an entirely new spin on fairy-tale classics. In fact, the reason why adults were just as enamored with the animated tale as kids were, was because of all of the naughty jokes sprinkled throughout the film. Here are 9 filthy jokes from Shrek that you’re just now understanding as an adult.

1. The Film’s Opening Sequence

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When the film opens, Shrek is reading Fiona’s fairy-tale. He’s obviously unimpressed, because he rips a page from the book and uses it to wipe his butt. We should have known right then we were in for a special treat.

2. Lord Farquaad’s Castle

We all know that the the pint-sized Farquaad had a bit of a Napoléon complex. However, when Shrek and Donkey first arrive at his castle, Shrek suggests that the tiny Lord might be compensating for a bit more than his lack of stature. After all, those who don’t have, build large phallic castles.

3. Lord Farquaad’s Name

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It turns out that the Lord Farquaad jokes are pretty much boundless in Shrek. If you take out the R from Farquaad, you pretty much end up with Lord Fu*kwad. Well…where is the lie?

4. “Welcome to Duloc”

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Even as a kid, you probably still got this classic joke. After all, it’s rather obvious. When Donkey and Shrek arrive in Duloc, they are greeted by some puppets who sing,“please keep off the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your…face.”  The word “butt” is obviously implied and it helps that the puppets turn around and moon their audience. It’s simply brilliant. Who doesn’t love a good butt joke?

5. Robin Hood the HornDog

This particular joke was rather bold, so we definitely have to give DreamWorks their props. When Fiona is “rescued” by Monsieur Robin Hood and his band of Merry Men, they sing her a little diddly. It goes, Robin Hood: “I like an honest fight and a saucy little maid
Merry Men: “What he’s basically saying is he likes to get… Robin Hood: “Paid!” We’re 100% positive the Merry Men were going to say “Laid” before Robin interjected. Uh…at least he’s honest?

6. Snow White Ain’t Easy

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When Lord Farquaad is consulting his Magic Mirror in an attempt to find a Queen, the mirror begins listing some of the fairy-tale world’s most eligible Bachelorettes. When he comes across Snow White the mirror says, “although she lives with seven other men, she’s not easy. Just kiss her dead frozen lips to find out what a live wire she is.” There’s also that added ick factor of lusting after a corpse.

7. Donkey’s Dirty Dream

This one is pretty straight forward, but it should have told us then that Donkey would have no issues handling Dragon. *wink wink*

8. Remember When Dragon Claimed Donkey As Her Own?

We’re all for ladies making the first move, but Dragon took things to a whole new level when she basically felt Donkey up. In the clip you can hear Donkey squealing, “That’s my personal tail, you’re going to tear it off!” Well, now.

9. Lord Farquaad’s “Private Time”

There’s nothing wrong with a bit of “private time” if you catch our drift. However, Lord Farquaad subjecting the poor Magic Mirror to his…. Well, that’s just beyond the pale. Just look at the poor mirrors looks of disgust.

Did you understand any of these dirty jokes when you watched Shrek as a kid? Let us know in the comments below.

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