20th Century Fox Film via Everett Collection
Han Solo is many things: a pilot, a smuggler, a loyal friend to Chewbacca, and a hero, to name just a few. But more than anything else, Han Solo is obnoxious. His wisecracks and comebacks have become the stuff of cinematic legend, but if Harrison Ford weren’t around to give the character so much style, we’d probably roll our eyes every time he opened his mouth; thanks to Ford, we love Han Solo because he’s aggravating and sarcastic, not in spite of it. Finding the right balance of charismatic and insufferable is a Herculean task, and that doesn’t even take into consideration all of the shooting, flying and stunts that playing Han Solo requires.
In honor of the man who brought Han to life in all of his mischievous, obnoxious glory – and who is currently nursing a broken leg after an on-set injury – we’ve rounded up the absolute best of Han Solo’s most obnoxious wisecracks and comebacks. Get well soon, Mr. Ford.
About Ben Kenobi: “Where did you dig up that old fossil?”
We’d deduct points for redundancy – a fossil is, by nature, old – but we’d have to give them right back to him for style.
To Chewbacca: “Laugh it up, fuzzball.”
If anyone else had delivered an insult this lame, we’d make fun of him. But somehow, Han Solo pulls it off.
To C-3PO, while evacuating the Rebel Hoth base: “Hurry up, goldenrod! Or you’re gonna be a permanent resident!”
Apparently there is a less creative insult than “fuzzball.” Well done.
To Leia: “Look, Your Worshipfulness, let’s get one thing straight. I take orders from just one person: me.”
Now you’re getting the hang of this whole insult thing! You can practically feel the sarcasm dripping off this one.
After commandeering an attack station and shooting the intercom: “Boring conversation anyway.”
Well, that’s certainly one way to get out of an awkward conversation.
About the Ewoks: “Well, short help is better than no help at all.”
Good thing the Ewoks aren’t too bothered about blatant backhanded compliments.
To the barkeep, after shooting Greedo: “Sorry about the mess.”
What’s cooler than taking out the guy who’s been threatening to kill you for years when he’s not paying attention? Following it up with a quick one-liner while tipping the bartender.
As the garbage compactor closes in: “One thing’s for sure, we’re all gonna be a lot thinner.”
Han Solo has never let the opportunity for jokes pass him by, even in what might be his last moments. At least he’ll die laughing, right?
Upon hearing that Luke is a Jedi: “A Jedi Knight? Jeez, I’m out of it for a little while, everyone gets delusions of grandeur!”
Because, truly, where would everyone else be if Han Solo weren’t around to keep them in their place?
After Leia tells him that she loves him: “I know.”
Just what every girl dreams of hearing from the man she’s in love with. How sweet.
On himself: “Not a bad bit of rescuing, huh? You know, sometimes I amaze even myself.”
It’s always important to have confidence in your abilities.
