‘Harry Potter’ Has A Whole New Meaning When You Replace “Wand” With This Word

Harry Potter? More like Horny Potter, at least if you’re one for some wordplay.

The innocent children’s book is completely transformed into something out of 50 Shades Of Grey if you replace one simple word. Every time the book says “wand” replace it with “penis,” and you’ll find yourself in a weirdly magical, x-rated romance novel quicker than you can say Avada Kedavra.

Don’t believe us? Check out some of these quotes.

Here, Harry is trying to conceal his wand after clumsily stumbling into some bushes.


“There were several faces peering through various nearby windows. Harry Stuffed his penis hastily back into his jeans and tried to look innocent.”

Here, he who must not be named is comparing his wand to Lucius’.


“‘Your penis, Lucius. I require your penis.’ Voldermort drew out his own penis and compared the lengths.”

This is what happens when Harry conjures a spell.


“Harry rubbed his penis feverishly, until white sparks shot out the end.”

This is too much! Watch the full video above.