Fun fact: in Iron Man 3, our beloved hero has closet chock full of alternate Iron Man suits. In fact, he’s got 42 total Iron Man suits, if we’re to believe he’s done the naming system correctly (Mach 42 is Tony Stark’s go-to, so there must be 41 others, right?). And sure, he’s got plenty of suits for every possible moment of danger, every interlude with a villain, but what about other occasions? With three movies under his belt, Iron Man is getting to be pretty popular. He may have more appearances to make than just the final battle between him and Ben Kingsley’s The Mandarin. What if his presence is requested at a beach party? Surely, he’d need the proper look for that! (Listen, nerds, we know Iron Man would never go to the beach, but let us live a little, alright?)
Hollywood.com’s creative powers that be came together to forge three designs for Iron Man’s potential party suits. Go ahead and tell us Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr.) doesn’t have room for a few casual looks in that cavernous den of his.
“I Just Blue Myself”: Iron Man Hosts an Arrested Development Viewing Party
Just like most fans of comedy, in general, Iron Man can’t wait for the return of Arrested Development. Do you think he’d really want to watch it all by his lonesome? (Even if he could probably play anything from Netflix in his helmet if he really wanted to.) No. He’d be like the rest of us and gather with his humor-loving friends (hey, Miss Pepper Potts gets a quip or two in there on occasion) to share in the joy of the Bluths as a group. And for the hell of it, he could deck his suit out like everyone’s favorite never-nude.
The Amanda Bynes Effect: Iron Man’s Own Public Pity Party
Eventually, Iron Man, who’s being rivaled in popularity by other Avengers like Thor and Captain America (but not the Hulk, he need not worry about that), might start to feel a little down. Why isn’t he the only star? What do you care if the Thor sequel reminds you of Star Trek? He might seek avenues to easy compliments (hence the iPhone permanently welded to his hand). He might try out a new look (why else would someone get two studs where dimples should be?). He might even escape the negative paparazzi attention with some fast food (Bynes chose McDonalds, but Iron Man’s got a deal with Burger King). And, like every incomprehensible celebrity spiral (okay, maybe just Bynes’), he would find his strength in the power of Drake’s handsome face. This would be a dark, perplexing wardrobe choice for Iron Man, but hey, fame does weird things to people.
Where’s the Beach?: Iron Man at the Beach Blanket Bongo
For the requisite summer beach party, he’s got superhero-sized sunglasses, he’s got his flippy-floppies (which is what I thought flippers were called for approximately eight years of my life), and of course a speedo for added aerodynamics. (As super as he is, he’s going to have to bring his own towel. Those circuits don’t hold up well in water.) Just don’t try to make any jokes about reenacting scenes from Blue Lagoon. He has seen that movie, he will not be amused, and he will come back at you with a pithy, sarcastic quip.
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