When I read the headline “Robert Pattinson Unleashes Seductive Fury in ‘Bel Ami’” about year ago, I almost died. What is the star of Twilight and the imaginary paramour for so many screeching teenage girls doing making gay porn?!
Yes, the joke that only about 10 percent of the population (actually only 5 percent since the lesbians probably don’t get it either) know is that Bel Ami is not only the name of Pattinson’s newest foray into fang-free drama, but also the name of a prominent and popular gay porn studio. In 1993, the company started making blue movies featuring young, lithe Eastern European men and hasn’t strayed from the formula or flagged in popularity ever since.
For your reference, some ways that you can tell the difference between the Pattinson movie and the porn company:
Pattinson: Takes its name from French author Guy de Maupassant’s novel Bel Ami.
Porn: Takes its name from French author Guy de Maupassant’s novel Bel Ami.
Pattinson: From the novel’s Wikipedia page: “The story chronicles journalist Georges Duroy’s corrupt rise to power from a poor ex-NCO to one of the most successful men in Paris, most of which he achieves by manipulating a series of powerful, intelligent, and wealthy mistresses.”
Porn: The story chronicles filmmaker George Duroy’s rise to power from a poor Slovak to one of the most successful men in porn, most of which he achieves by manipulating a series of beautiful, horny, and game gentlemen.
Pattinson: Has Ricci around.
Porn: Has a reach around.
Pattinson: Website BelAmiFilm.com has gotten many clicks.
Porn: Website BelAmiOnline.com has gotten many… things that rhyme with clicks.
Pattinson: Features costar Kristin Scott Thomas.
Porn: Features costars Scott and Thomas. Sorry, no Kristen.
Pattinson: You’ll need lots of Kleenex while watching.
Porn: You’ll need lots of Kleenex after watching.
Pattinson: Has a Thurman.
Porn: Has a third man.
Pattinson: Features a tall, thin foreigner sexing his way around Europe looking for love.
Porn: Features tall, thin foreigners sexing their way around Europe looking for love.
See, they’re both totally different!
Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan
More:
Robert Pattinson’s ‘Bel Ami’ Trailer Revealed: A Love Triangle Worthy of ‘Twilight’
Robert Pattinson Unleashes Seductive Fury in ‘Bel Ami’
Robert Pattinson Thinks “Nobody Would Give a S–t About” Him Without ‘Twilight’
