Paramount via Everett Collection
Apparently, friends that launder money together, stay together. Jonah Hill and Leonardo DiCaprio enjoyed working with each other so much on The Wolf of Wall Street that they’ve signed on to star in another film together. The project, based on the 1997 Vanity Fair article “American Nightmare: The Ballad Of Richard Jewell,” follows the security guard who was lauded as a national hero before being falsely accused of bombing the 1996 Atlanta Olympics. Hill will play Richard Jewell while DiCaprio will take on the role of a lawyer who befriended Jewell and helped him cope with his public ordeal and clear his name. As of yet, there’s no director or screenwriter attached to the project, but but we’re sure with a story this interesting and two Oscar nominees attached, it’s only a matter of time before someone signs on.
Between this film, The Wolf of Wall Street, and Hill’s recent Saturday Night Live appearance, it seems like these two have become inseparable. Therefore, it seemed only right for us to help find them more projects that they could possibly star in together, so that both their personal friendship and professional relationship can continue for years.
A Nicholas Sparks Romance
First comes a movie, then comes friendship, then comes Hill and DiCaprio playing opposite each other in a tender love story written, as all great love stories are, by Nicholas Sparks. The two will play friends who have always been inexplicably drawn to one another, but after DiCaprio returns home from fighting overseas, they decide to throw caution to the wind and listen to their hearts. Unfortunately, their love will face greater hurdles when Hill’s character is diagnosed with a terminal illness. The film will either be based on a novel by Nicholas Sparks, or will be turned into a novel by Nicholas Sparks.
A Superhero and His Sidekick
There may be many superhero sequels and reboots in theaters, but none of them have featured any sidekicks, which gives DiCaprio and Hill the perfect opportunity to front their own franchise. And if there are any actors who can finally make the Aquaman film a reality, it’s these two. DiCaprio will play Aquaman, the Defender of the Seas, who can communicate with marine life, and Hill can play Aqualad, his sidekick and the founder of the Teen Titans. Alternatively, if Hill is deemed too old to play a teenage superhero, or if they just want to move things in a more comedic direction, Hill can voice Storm, Aquaman’s noble steed. Everybody loves a wisecracking horse, right?
A Live Action and Animation Hybrid
Although DiCaprio has starred in films that span a multitude of genres, he’s never lent his voice to an animated film once over the course of his career. What better way to ease himself into the voice-over game than by taking part in a live action/animation crossover with his good friend? Hill can play an every day, mild-mannered detective who discovers one day that there is a giant, talking rabbit in his kitchen (voiced by DiCaprio), and the two solve crimes together. Add in some vulgar language, since everyone likes watching cartoons curse and behave badly, and you’re got yourself a hit.
A Period Piece
Sure, The Wolf of Wall Street took place in the late eighties, and this film will take place in the mid-nineties, but we’d like to see these two really show off their dramatic chops and star in an epic historical drama. Nobody’s made a film about Napoleon yet, and Hill would make a perfect 19th century French dictator. DiCaprio can take on the role of the Duke of Wellington, who helped defeat Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo, although they were once friends, and a horrible betrayal has forced Wellington to defeat his former ally in battle. Sure, parts of it might not be historically accurate, but that’s what happens in Hollywood.
An Experimental Film About Hollywood
What better way for these two to pay tribute to the director who brought them together than by making a film all about him? In this low-budget, experimental film, Hill will step into Martin Scorsese‘s glasses, while DiCaprio will take on the role of Christopher Nolan, in a movie all about the conversations that directors when they’re in between projects. They will discuss everything from their work to their personal life, and when they run out of conversation topics, there will be 5 minutes of awkward silence while they wait for their meals to arrive. Think My Dinner With Andre, but someone will probably get shot at the end.
A Gritty Cop Drama
One of Hill’s most celebrated roles is as a police officer in 21 Jump Street, so it would be nice to see him play a corrupt cop with mob ties in a dark, sinister drama. DiCaprio, on the other hand, will take a break from playing so many serious roles, and will play a rookie cop who has been assigned as Hill’s partner, with a tendency to goof off and an inability to take anything seriously. Over the course of the film, they learn to work together, and maybe even learn a few things about themselves. Andre Braugher will also star as the no-nonsense police captain tasked with keeping them both in line.
An Low Budget, High Gore Horror Film
They might not be proud of it, but every actor needs at least one horror film on their resume. Hill and DiCaprio will play two good friends and business partners who escape to Hill’s great uncle’s cabin in the woods to get some work done ahead of a major deadline. Unfortunately, when they get there, it seems like there’s something weird going on with the locals, who keep warning them not to spend the night in the woods. Of course, later that night, a young woman arrives on their doorstep, covered in blood and claiming that someone is coming after her. Without cell service, help from the local authorities or even knowing what’s hunting them, the three must attempt to make it through the night alive. Actually, that sounds like a film we’d watch.