I really enjoyed The King’s Speech, but the direction wasn’t my favorite part. I was truly shocked that Tom Hooper won the Oscar for directing, but I wasn’t complaining too loud. Now it looks like he has set his first post-Speech project up at Universal. He’ll be tackling the seminal Broadway hit Les Miserables. And guys, I absolutely HATE Les Miz.
So my initial reaction upon learning the news that Hooper was in final negotiations to direct this boring piece of musical trash was to hurl myself out of the office window into the oncoming traffic of the streets below. After a sufficient number of taxis and couriers on bikes ran over me, I would then drag my body down into the subway where I would board a Brooklyn bound train (this was of course after having a bum shiv me in the kidney and electrocuting myself on the tracks). Once it went above the water, I would throw myself out of the pried open doors (I really like flinging myself out of things) into the icy cold East River. Luckily I would find a bag full of needles floating nearby so I begin to just poke myself with them hoping to catch something that worked quickly. After that proved fruitless, I decided to try just going to the DMV and seeing if I could bore myself to death. Now you might be thinking to yourself “why didn’t you go and see Les Miz if you wanted to die a slow and painful death of boredom?” But what do you think I am? Some kind of sadistic freak?